Trying To Get Someone To Change? Here are 5 Things to Consider

“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little change you have in trying to change others."” 

- Benjamin Franklin

I first started writing blogs in the beginning of this year with the intention to share my experience, expertise and knowledge with friends and family. Half-way through the year I decided to expand my horizons and had the opportunity to post my blogs on LinkedIn. For the last six months I have received great comments, kudos and encouragement. I have also received quite a few interesting questions and suggestions.

I took the time yesterday to go through many of the suggestions and questions people have sent me. Interestingly, about 80% of the questions or suggestions are about making someone change their ways: “Can you write about how to make your boss be more engaged?”; “How can I point out to my sister that she is spending too much money?”; “Do you have any advice on how I can make my wife listen to me?” I slightly changed the structure of the questions, but all of these questions are about making someone do something, change something or realize something. I decided to address these questions in today’s blog and provide three things anyone should consider when trying to make someone change.

Adults have years of bad habits

Most people have done things in a certain way for years. Perhaps, you have a co-worker that likes to procrastinate (and that has probably worked for him throughout his life). Or perhaps you have a sibling that has always been late – always. It’s unrealistic for you to try to change someone who has exercised certain habits throughout their lifetime and expect that you can magically turn that around in a heartbeat. By the time we become adults those habits (good or bad) are practically engraved in our DNA.

Can these habits eventually change? Absolutely, but it takes more than a few words of encouragement (or discouragement) from you to make it happen. You can’t expect things to change overnight, you can’t expect consistency, and you can’t expect immediate buy-in. From my experience, the more things you want to change about a person, the more problems you’ll have in your relationship.

Who likes to have their flaws pointed out?

Sometimes we think we’re doing a person a favor by telling them what they need to hear to make them better. This can work with some people, but not everyone is the same. Not everyone likes to hear that they’re lazy, that they need to be more responsible, that they are unorganized or that they don’t know how to be diplomatic. In fact, I can guarantee that most people know these things about themselves and you reiterating what they already know is probably not going to help.

Most people are quick to point out the flaws of others, but offer no assistance, no advice or no solutions. Additionally, it’s not what you say but how you say it that matters in many occasions. I’m sure many people would like to be less lazy, a bit more organized, or would like to know how to be more diplomatic, but how can they learn those things? Can they look up a video on Youtube on how to be less lazy? At work, this is a problem many managers have when giving feedback – they only point out the “areas for development” but don’t offer any assistance, solutions, advice or steps to development to improve those areas.

You can’t make someone change

I have finally learned that you can’t make someone change – you can only help. We get so caught up in wanting to change our employees, our co-workers, our significant other, or our children. You can’t change someone – you can only help, you can only provide support and you can only guide. Many of us want people to change but are not willing to commit, to put in the time to help others change. We get frustrated and impatient because the other person is not willing to cooperate and we give up. If you won’t invest in helping others, who will? Invest time, energy and love to help others. All you can do is help. They are the only ones that can make change happen.

Look in the mirror first

Many times we focus so much on trying to change others or trying to get others to see things our way that we never stop and look in the mirror instead. What habits do we need to change? What do we have to change about ourselves? Instead of asking, “why isn’t he listening to me?”, ask “am I listening to him?” Are you requiring patience from someone else but you are not patient yourself? Are you demanding understanding from your boss but have never tried to understand yourself? Are you taking proactive steps to change your ways? If the answer is ‘no,’ then what makes you think you can change the ways of someone else?

Be the example

Change yourself first, then help others change. You can’t make someone change unless you have gone through a transformation yourself. Change your ways first and have people take notice. This has been the only effective way I have made change in others possible. I try to hold my tongue, and demonstrate how change is possible. Every day, try to be a better version of yourself and others will eventually want to become a better version of themselves without you having to say a word, having to point out anything and (sometimes) even needing to help. Become an exemplary human being of positive change and healthy relationships. Let the obstacles and challenges test you because that is the only way you’ll know if you’ve really changed. Then, you can provide hope that change is possible in others.

Perhaps this wasn’t the type of article that you expected but my hope was to help you see things through another set of lens. Max Depree, the great American author on Leadership once said: “We cannot become what we want to be by remaining who we are.”

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.  

3 Lies You Tell Yourself Quite Often

“Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.” 

– Steve Jobs

Last week I finished facilitating a two-month training for a company in Southern California. I trained approximately 25 managers on topics such as leadership, management, communication and coaching. The managers embarked on a journey to become better managers to lead their teams to their full potential.

During our coaching session, we discussed ways to properly train, motivate and engage a team. During one of our discussions, one of the managers shared with me that he has trouble motivating people because he’s not a good motivator. In that same session, another manager said how difficult it was to train her employees because she has no patience.

These comments are very typical for managers to say and are comments we tell ourselves quite often. I responded to these comments from the managers with a simple question: ”who told you that?”

Many times we convince ourselves that we are a certain way or we can’t do a certain thing. We think other people believe these things about us and we unfortunately use other people’s comments to confirm what we already believed about ourselves. These are lies, though. Time and time again I see people breakthrough these lies. Below are three common lies that hold us back.

I am not good enough

Many times, managers (or people in general) make comments such as “I am not a good motivator,” “I am not a good public speaker,” or “I’m just not good with numbers.” People are just not born motivating others or knowing how to speak in public. These are skills that can be learned and applied with time. Instead of telling yourself lies, ask yourself these questions:  

• How can I become better
• What can I change about myself to become better?
• How can I change? Am I willing to change?

You are good enough. In fact, I can guarantee that you’re better than you think. There is a lot of untapped talent and potential if you just get passed those lies you invented.

I can’t do that

The word can’t is one of the worst words you can use in your vocabulary. “I can’t resist chocolate,” “I can’t find time to go to the gym,” and “I can’t make it on time because I live far,” are the most common lies you can tell yourself. These are our favorite excuses and the word can’t is supposed to make it seem as though there is an external force out of our control that won’t allow us to overcome these obstacles.

Instead of always relying on the word ‘can’t’, substitute that word for the question, “How can I…?” For example, “how can I lose 15 lbs?”, or “how can I make time to go to the gym.”

Force yourself to find solutions instead of making excuses. You can do anything and I can, once again, guarantee that you have overcome obstacles in the past that not too many people could. You are stronger than you think.

That’s just not me

By now, you have a pre-conceived notion of who you are and who you are not. You have convinced yourself that you are not patient, you are not a leader, you are not assertive or that you are not joyful. I believe we have all these qualities inside of us and many times we actually utilize these qualities. For example, have you ever waited an hour in LA traffic? That’s patience! Yes, some people are more patient than others, but many times we are the ones that choose what quality we do or don’t exercise. Therefore, any time that our job or our family requires our patience, for example, we tend to run away and choose not to exercise our patience.

You possess great qualities in a human. You have the power to think, act and become anything. You can be a strong leaders, a patient parent, a loving boss, a joyful employee, an assertive project leader and an empathetic colleague. You just choose not to focus on those qualities you need. You can become anything you want, but you must convince yourself first.

Sometimes are jobs or our personal lives force us to be something we’re not. Perhaps you weren’t so responsible before but your career forced you to be responsible. I can guarantee (my last guarantee) that who you are now is not the same person who you were 5 years ago, and it won’t be the same person who you will 5 years from now. Who do you want to be? Do you want to be extraordinary or a person who keeps believing your own lies?

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.  

5 Things To Be Thankful For At Work

“Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining - it bores everyone else, does you no good, and doesn't solve any problems.” 

– Zig Ziglar

About a month ago I met with a friend and we had a long conversation about our jobs. My friend, disappointed, complained about the job he’s been doing for almost 10 years and described the work he does as “terrible.”

“My boss is a jerk,” my friend exclaimed,”and they work us like crazy.” He summarized the rest of his conversation with the words “it sucks.”

I looked at my friend and asked him if there was anything he liked about the job. He pondered a bit and came up with a few things he liked about his job. I followed up with a second question: is it really that bad?

I feel as though many people like to play the ‘victim’ at times and would rather prove why their job is worse than someone else’s. My perspective is quite different because I’ve been homeless, jobless and broke all at once so I cherish certain things that others might not (Read How I Survived With $11 In My Pocket). Here are at least five things to be thankful for at work:

Be thankful you have a job – Is not having a job really much better than having the job you currently have? Be thankful you are currently employed and receive a pay check every month. Some people might not have that privilege.

Be thankful you have work – It is one thing to have a job and another thing to have plenty of work to do. Having a lot of work, or a lot of business, is good. It provides you with stability.

Be thankful for the people you work with – Sometimes the job requires long hours and you might see your co-workers more than you might see your wife. Be thankful for the comraderies, joy and experience you share with your team.  

Be thankful you’re learning – I can almost guarantee that the person you were when you first started working wherever you are is no longer the person you are now. You’ve grown professionally and will continue to learn. Be thankful for that opportunity.

Be thankful for the challenges – When your day becomes more challenging, you become stronger. Without challenges there is no effort, no growth and no strength. Be thankful that you have been challenged physically and/or mentally and you are a smarter, stronger person.

There are other things to be thankful for. Make sure to show your gratitude at work this week and reflect on the positive things your job has to offer. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way. 

Still Re-Training Your Employees? Is It A People Problem Or A Training Problem?

“Nothing will work unless you do” – John Wooden

So you trained this person at least six times on how to complete this report and it’s still not the way you want it? I didn’t say this out loud as I was really trying to listen to the issues one of the manager was having with her team. Apparently, she feels that she spends most of her time re-training people on things they should already know. I’ve heard these comments from managers before though. There is re-training on how to make proper phone calls, servicing customers, updating systems or using technology.

Throughout my career I had the opportunity to develop training programs, develop staff members and work on professional development with different groups. Currently, as part of the Leadership Build group, I have the blessing to lead corporate trainings for different companies in multiple industries and I hear the same comments from different managers from different organizations working in different industries. After hearing out the managers I typically ask this question: do you think this is a people problem or a training problem? Can you guess what the typical response is?

Most managers believe they did all they could to train a person or a group of people properly. They claim that they already “told” their team multiple times how to do it. Some might even claim that they specifically “showed” the group how to do something. However, many times, the problem isn’t the group being trained. How do I know this? I was one of those managers. Before giving any consultation, I always dig deeper to find out the root cause of this particular issue.

How Effective Is The Trainer?

Most managers are not trainers. Most managers are also not teachers. Most managers have never been taught how to train or how to teach. This doesn’t mean that there might be some managers that successfully train their team or lead their team, but it is very difficult to find a manager that can manage multiple tasks, lead a group of people, train them, coach them, meet all targets, be empathetic, meet all deadlines and think outside the box to improve a process. We are asking for a lot in managers.

Most of the companies I have worked with do not have a process to effectively evaluate the trainer. Most managers or trainers are left to figure out how to train their employees. Therefore, most managers might put a few powerpoint slides together, or decide to just stand in front of a room and talk. Talking is not training. An effective trainer facilitates the entire process, checking for understanding and has specific goals to achieve during the training. Did the trainer communicate well? Did the trainer show, taught, explained or discussed the content of the training? Was the trainer prepared? Did the trainer give specific examples? Many times, we don’t ask these questions to really understand how effective our trainers might be.

How Effective Is The Training Program?

Similarly, most internal training programs are not evaluated. Many companies do their own training and cross their fingers afterwards, expecting employees to perform per expectations. This might work in certain instances, but many companies I have consulted with struggle as their company grows. The tiny training given at the early stage of the company’s lifespan might have worked, but as the company and industry grow or change, the training requires more structure, standardization and quality. Recycling trainings year after year might not work at this point. These were three characteristics not thought of during the early stages of the company’s training.

Therefore, it is important to ask the efficacy of the training program. Notice that I included “program” after the word training. Most sports teams and successful corporations have a training academy or training program. Training is not a one-time thing. Is there follow up after the training? Was the training adaptive? Was there a reason the training was done in-person as opposed to online? Are we seeing results immediately following the training? Was everyone trained? Are there any learning gaps that might need to filled?

In the end, if you can positively answer all my questions throughout this article regarding your training and you know your trainer and the training program is effective (since you have seen positive results in the majority of the people trained), then maybe we can look at the people problem. Just remember: a heavy focus on developing your people will pay off.

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way. 

How To Turn Your Cash Flow From Negative To Positive

"Discipline is doing what you know needs to be done, even though you don't want to."
- Unknown

Yesterday, I began to tell my story (Read How I Survived With $11 In My Pocket). Let me pick up where I left off...

So I finally got a job and things started to look a lot better. However, if you remember the story, I was still deep in debt, I received a lawsuit, shortly after a sheriff came to my office to let me know that my wages were going to be garnished, and I still had some bill collectors calling me consistently. 

It took me a few years to get out of this financial hole. This is not easy to do, but yet I was able to do it and I wanted to share the two main ways I was able to turn things around. At the time, I felt as though i was living paycheck to paycheck and most of my money went to paying bills, debt and other people with little or no money staying in my bank account. I had negative cash flow every single month for years. This is how I eventually got out. 

Sacrifice
I used to hate the word sacrifice. It pretty much means that you give up things that you like. Most people kind of want to change their situation, but they don't really want to do anything about it. Most people worry that they're in a financial hole but they don't want to give up anything to get out. I'm sorry to put it this way, but the most effective way to get out of a financial hole is by committing to sacrifices.

In order to prioritize my life and financial goals I gave up quite a few things that were not easy to give up. For five years I didn't own a television. This meant that I also didn't have cable. I had to be content with the car that I drove that was falling apart. I drove that car until (literally) the wheels fell off. For three years I didn't have a bed, just two mattresses on the floor. Beds are expensive and so are cars. If you add up the total amount you would spend on a TV and on monthly cable, it also begins to be expensive to have those luxuries. The phone I had was never new. In fact, I was trying to downgrade at one point but T-Mobile wouldn't let me. I bought clothes maybe once or twice a year and tried to take care of them so that they would last me for five more years. I also gave up going out so much so I can save a little on gas and dining out.

Discipline
As I mentioned before, none of this was easy. Most people feel that they need to reward themselves immediately after they receive a paycheck. Some people I know spend half of their paycheck the Friday they get paid. 

If you really think about it, I didn't have enough money left over (positive cash flow) to buy a new TV. Most people buy things with money they don't really have. I strategically put money aside every month for the bigger goals in life. For over four years I tracked my income and expenses on a spreadsheet (until I learned about mint.com three years ago.) Every month, I sat down for hours to look at where I needed to cut, what other sacrifices I needed to make and stuck to my plan. I also made sure that if I had money, I didn't spend it. the biggest discipline I attained was the ability not to spend money when I had it. I read tons of books and articles about managing expenses, investments, getting out of debt, how to save, how to develop better habits, how to become more disciplined, time management, all read to help me achieve my goals. I read (or listened to) a book every month. I read articles every single week. I forced myself to wake up earlier every morning although I convinced myself in college that I wasn't a morning person. I even gave up french fries for 9 months and eventually became vegetarian. People ask me why I became vegetarian and my simple answer is that I just wanted to see how long I could do it. It's now been five years. 

Throughout this experience, the money I made had nothing to do with me getting out of a hole (read Why How Much Money You Make Doesn't Matter). It was truly the discipline I developed and the sacrifices that I made that eventually helped me reach my goals. What was the end result? Now, I have a TV ( and I do have cable but I just bought it to watch the World Cup games - I'm about to cancel it) and a better car. However, I'm more proud of the fact that I have no loans, no credit cards, positive cash flow and I have been able to reward myself lately with trips to Hawaii, Cancun and Orlando. It also takes discipline to reward yourself at the end. 

Warren Buffet once said, "The most important thing to do if you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging." Can you stop digging?

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Interested In Improving Your Monthly Cash Flow? Follow These 5 Steps...

"Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving."

 - Warren Buffet

Yesterday, I wrote about the concept of Cash Flow (read Why How Much Money You Make Doesn't Matter). For those of you that might not have had the time to read my blog and are in the dark of what Cash Flow is, let me quickly explain it. Cash Flow is what you have left over when you calculate what you earn (i.e. your income) against what you spend. Your monthly Cash Flow might be positive or negative depending if you make more money than what you spend or you spend more money than what you make on  a monthly basis. 

If you think that I'm going to give the top five secrets on how to make more money or how to reduce your expenses, you are wrong. Realistically, yes, there are only two ways to increase your Cash Flow: Either you have more money coming in or you have less money coming out. Instead of going over how to make more money or how to spend less, I decided to go over something a lot more valuable. 

Before I continue, I definitely wanted to let you know that in no way do I currently have a crazy amount of positive monthly Cash Flow. Although my monthly Cash Flow is consistently positive, it's important to note that for many years my monthly Cash Flow was consistently in the red. I share this with you because I hope to encourage you a bit more. I hope that you feel as though your situation is not unique and that things can turn around just like they did for me. Below are five things I wanted to share about how I was able to turn my monthly Cash Flow from negative to positive.

Enjoy The Hard Work
People are always looking for a quick way to make money. They prefer to hear the stories of someone who won the lottery and became rich instantly instead of the true stories of those who have worked hard with their blood, tears and sweat to become wealthy over a course of many, many years. Most successful people that I know never got rich immediately. It was their hard work that paid off. They happily worked more than 60 hours a week to move up the ladder in their company. They worked tirelessly day and night because they opened up their own restaurant and they had no time to sleep. In fact, I met a guy at a conference once who said he's working hard because he doesn't like to work. His goal was to retire by age 35. Hard work will pay off. Enjoy the ride. 

Get Educated
If this is the only blog you read, then you're in trouble. Most people think of education as a plan to go to a university and get a degree. However, you can almost learn anything through books and now that we have YouTube, you can practically learn how to do anything on YouTube. Be proactive. Learn about controlling your expenses. Learn about how to accomplish your goals. Learn about investing, how to play the guitar, how to sing, whatever it is, but learn. A few years ago I decided to read a book every month. That type of education was relatively cheap and it helped me learn more about improving my Cash Flow. 

Give More
You're probably thinking, "Wait a minute...if I give more, how will I be able to keep more of my cash flow?." It's the law of life. I'm just not talking about money, but anything that you might have that you can share or give to others. Give your time to someone in need, or give more time to spend with your children. Give your heart to more people and you will see how it will open up doors you never knew existed. Even during times of struggle, I tried to give what I could to others. I had no money to give to anyone at the time, but I gave away my knowledge by volunteering to teach kids how to play mariachi music. I also tutored kids and got shrimp tacos in return. Eventually, everything worked out for the best. Give. 

Make Better Decisions
Most people would rather not think about money and convince themselves that money isn't important. They base their decision on this philosophy and they find themselves struggling consistently to make ends meet. A spontaneous trip to Vegas means nothing to them although they might have spent $800 on the trip that they are now trying to work hard to make up for. Eating out every day and spending almost $900 a month on fast food doesn't matter, right? Take responsibility. Start now. Put down your phone as you read this blog and start making changes immediately. 

Believe
Nothing is impossible in this life. Most people get discouraged because they 'don't make enough money.' Others decide that it's impossible to become as wealthy as the people they see on TV. Your mentality is half the battle. If you think the worse will happen, then it will. If you don't believe in yourself, then why should anyone believe in you? If you truly want to change your situation around, whether it's a financial struggle or something else, you must believe that it is possible. Don't defeat yourself before you try. You'll be surprised how strong you are inside and how believing can come a long way.

This article might not have been what you expected, but I felt I would be doing you a disservice if I continued to give you tips that you wouldn't put into action. Do you really want to change things around or is it just a nice thought? As I mentioned before, half of the battle is setting your mind to it. The other half is really just doing something about it. 

Was this blog helpful? Please share your comments. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Why How Much Money You Make Doesn't Matter

"It's not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for."

 - Robert Kiyosaki

Do you sometimes feel like you don't make enough? Do you sometimes think that if you just made a little bit more money you would be better off? If you answered yes to these questions or have ever thought about these questions, then you're in for a real surprise. Making more money will not solve your problems. Many times, we're stuck just getting by because of how we spend, not because of what we make.

Let me give you an example. Let's examine this person that we will call Robert. Robert works as a warehouse manager and makes about $40,000 a year. If  you break that down monthly, he makes $3,340 a month. If you look at Robert's monthly expenses, you'll see that by the end of the month, Robert has a total of $3,040 that he spends on rent, bills, shopping, gas, food, etc.

Robert, Warehouse Manager
Monthly Income: $3,340

Monthly Mortgage: $1,050
Monthly Bills: $650
Other Expenses: $1,340
Total Monthly Expenses: $3,040

By the end of the month, Robert actually has $300 left over. This is is his monthly Cash Flow. Robert can choose to put these $300 in a savings account or he might just leave it in his checking account. Regardless of what Robert decides to do, he is making more money than what he spends at the end of every month. 

Let's look at another example. If you see below, you'll see that Stephanie makes about $90,000 a year. This equates to $7,500 a month. However, if you closely examine Stephanie's expenses, you'll see that her total monthly expenses add up to $7,715. This could be due to high school loan payments, more debt, etc.

Stephanie, VP of Finance
Monthly Income: $7,500

Monthly Mortgage: $1,595
Monthly Bills: $1,080
Other Expenses: $5,040
Total Monthly Expenses: $7,715

Most people who make more money tend to also spend more money. As you see with Stephanie, at the end of the month she actually has a negative monthly Cash Flow of $215. 

If you compare Robert to Stephanie, you would think that Stephanie would be better off because she makes more than double the amount of what Robert makes, but in these examples, that isn't the case. Although Stephanie makes more money, Robert has more monthly Cash Flow than Stephanie. If you annualize these amounts, you'll see that at the end of the year, Robert will have $3,600 left over because he makes more than what he spends. However, at the end of the year, Stephanie is -$2,580, thus spending more than what she makes. This will typically lead a person like Stephanie to attain more credit and get deeper in debt.

In conclusion, you want to make sure that you have positive cash flow consistently every month. It is not uncommon to see someone who makes what Robert makes be wealthier than someone like Stephanie. 

Do you have positive cash flow coming in every month? Comment and share. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

The Question Most People Struggle With When Dealing With Their Money

"People with goals succeed because they know where they're going."

 - Earl Nightangale

Every month I meet with family and friends to help them go over their finances and put systems in place so that they have a budget to stick with. Every month, I also receive a phone call, or a few phone calls, from someone who frantically wants me to help them with their finances. When I receive that phone call, that particular person feels as though they're the only one struggling with their money and that their situation is unique.

I have yet to encounter a situation that is unique or a situation I truly believe can not be improved. However, you might think that most of the time I spend going over people's finances, I spend creating budgets, reviewing bank statements or teaching them about money. Although this is true, most of my time, however, I spend helping each individual answer one single question. This one single question is the toughest question to answer and is why I truly believe some people are struggling with their money. Most people can't answer this question.

The question most people can't answer is this: What do you want to do with your money? 

Most people earn good money, but they have no clue what to do with it so they spend it. Month after month, people receive a paycheck and month after month that paycheck disappears. What is the most common response to this question? It's: "I want to pay off my debt." Interestingly enough, the most common answer I receive with people has to do with spending it on their bills and paying other companies, not spending it for themselves. 

I don't want to make it seem like I have the answers to everything in regards to finance, but my purpose with these blogs are to help. If you have trouble answering that one simple question, now is the time to really start thinking about it. The following tips are ways I have tried to help others answer this question.

Ideas are OK
One individual I met with spent almost 30 minutes thinking about this question to only give me an, "I don't know." I then asked her to just jot down ideas and just think of what she would like to do. She told me she thought she couldn't answer the question because she hasn't really set goals for herself. I told her that's OK. An idea is a great start. All goals start off as an idea or a dream. It can be something as simple as "go to a Dodgers game," to "I don't want to work for my company anymore," to "I want my  kids to go to college." Later, we'll talk about goal setting, but you have to start somewhere.

Short-Term Goals are OK
I feel as though some people ponder that question so much because they try to look at their future a lot more. However, if you have trouble thinking long-term, think short-term for now. What are things you want to buy or have your money do for you in the short-term? Some people might want to take their kids on a family vacation in the next year. Some people want to go back to school this fall. Some people might just want to buy a house or move out of their crummy apartment. Although, I do suggest thinking longer-term at one point in your life, start off thinking about the next one month to three years. 

Get Educated

Some people can actually save well and have money saved up. Some people might be planning on saving money but might still not know what to do with that money. Eventually, these folks tap into this pool of money because they have no other choice. For those of you that might be dealing with this situation, I recommend doing some research. Just google, "what to do with money I have saved." For those that are thinking about investments, look into real estate investments or setting up an investment portfolio. Most people don't know how to do this because they were never taught these things. However, if you start asking the right questions, you'll start getting the right answers.

Spend this weekend trying to answer the question: What do you want to do with  your money? Discuss it with your spouse, write down some ideas and you'll see how things will begin to improve very quickly. Was this blog helpful? Share. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

It's OK to ask for help...

During the recession of 2008 I was without a job. I couldn't pay rent and I didn't have much money in the bank. I felt like I was running out of options but I continued my life pretending that I can handle it all and that I would get out of this hole on my own. Eventually, I decided to swallow my pride as the burden was too heavy. I ended up staying for a few months with my sister and later with my brother. I slept on the couch for months until I got back on my feet. 

Do you feel comfortable asking others for help? It might be something embarrassing such as asking for money or asking to sleep on someone else's couch, but it could also be as simple as asking for a ride, advice or just asking someone to talk to you. We sometimes feel as though asking is a form of weakness, that it might expose our failures and our faults. We might also get caught up with thoughts such as, "what will they think or say about me" or "they'll probably tell me no, or give me crap for asking." 

The truth is, most successful people didn't get to where they are now without a little help, a little push, from someone else. In fact, if you ask me, I think asking for help is a sign of confidence and a strength to have. It not only eases the burden of trying to do it all, but it obviously speeds up the process or resolves the challenge. Swallow your pride. Get rid of the negative thoughts that asking for help is bad. Don't be afraid about what others will say.

Is there something you need help with? Have you thought about asking but you haven't gotten the courage to do it? What's stopping you?

"What would you d if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song and I'll try not to sing out of key. I get by with a little help from my friends."

- The Beatles

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

- Dr. Seuss

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way. 

Nick - The Man With No Arms, No Legs and No Limits

A good friend gave me a book for Christmas. The book was called Life Without Limits by Nick Vujicic, a man who has lived with no arms and no legs all of his life. The book was very inspiring and made me think constantly about myself. After finishing the book I looked for videos on Nick on YouTube and read a few more articles about him. After watching a few videos, I was impressed by how much Nick would smile.

Nick lived a rough life during his youth. He was teased frequently by other kids and called names such as "freak" or "alien." Nick grew up watching other kids play basketball, surf and go on dates with girls. At age 8 he contemplated committing suicide since he believed at that time that his life was already pre-determined: he couldn't do anything, he wouldn't get married and he would always need others to help him because of his disability.

However, Nick's attitude was impressive. He relied on God to remain positive and used his huge heart to get through some tough times. He learned how to swim, how to surf, how to use a computer and type, how to run a business and how to speak in public. Now, Nick goes throughout the world motivating other people and preaching how life can be lived without limits. He speaks to children about bullying and about loving themselves and each other.

Many times we are angry about the things that we don't have or the things that we do have that we don't like. We'll hate ourselves because we feel we're ugly or we're fat, we'll convince ourselves that we're not smart enough and we'll believe that we're not capable of achieving success. Yet, we forget the things in our lives that should matter. We forget that we have the blessings of our family, of our close friends, of the music we love, of the hands that allow us to hold our babies, of the lips we possess to kiss our mom on the cheek, of the dirty little car that has more than 200,000 miles but is still going, of the home that provides us a bed to rest, of the food we eat every single day and of the heart that allows us to forgive and love with no limits.

You are better than you think. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are smart. You can accomplish anything. The only limits you have are those you are setting for yourself.

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't - you are right."

- Henry Ford

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude towards what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you."

- Brian Tracy

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way. 

What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?

This week I saw a very inspiring speaker. She was a young black female that left the audience speechless. After she was introduced, she took the stage, didn't worry about the microphone and began her short speech. She made great eye contact and spoke clearly to her audience. She was very powerful. Her goal was to convince the audience to volunteer for a youth group. I was so moved by her words that I signed up myself as a volunteer (and later as a coordinator) for the youth group. This person was only 8 years old.

So many times do we get filled with fear. The girl that influenced me to volunteer had no fear. No fear of public speaking. No fear of making mistakes. She wasn't even nervous. As adults, we fear too much. Have you ever asked yourself, 'what would I do if I wasn't afraid?' Fear keeps us from pursuing our dreams, taking risks and eventually getting ourselves out of a hole. We sometimes don't want to speak up, don't want to confront others and we just continue to hurt ourselves. We let fear overpower us.

Time and time again, I hear people saying why they can't play the guitar. Most of the time they say "my fingers don't stretch that far" or they make up excuses such as "I'm just not musically talented." I added a video to this blog to show you that anyone can learn how to play guitar. It doesn't matter the size of the fingers (or the size of the person), it is something that can be learned.

What would you do if you weren't afraid? What would you do if you didn't care if you were embarrassed or ridiculed? What would you do if you weren't afraid of trying or failing? If you have read a blog like this before, then why are you still afraid? You are the one stopping yourself. Where there is a will there is a way.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

"Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas"

- Paula Poundstone

I was at an elementary school earlier this week when I saw a teacher do an ice breaker with her students. She asked the class what they wanted to be when they grow up and you heard some of the most common professions: "cop", "doctor" and "teacher."

One of the students then raised her hand and asked, "teacher, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

As adults, we like to believe we have everything figured out. You might be starting a new job, studying to get your degree or just raising your children thinking that this is the way things are supposed to be. However, when was the last time you thought of what you wanted to be when you grow up?

You might not be growing in height, but you're always growing as a person. Experiences help us grow. School and books still help us learn. We're still growing. It doesn't matter if you're 20 or 40. There is still time for you to be what you want to be as a grown up. The best part is that you don't have to only be one thing. You can be many things! You can be an office manager in the mornings, a dedicated mother in the afternoons, a dancer on Friday nights and a volunteer at your church on Sundays. You probably already are many things but the questions you should ask yourself is: Is this who I want to be? Is this what I want to do?

If you haven't yet answered the question 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' maybe its time to do some brainstorming. Better now than never. Here are a few questions to ponder:

1. What do I like to do?
2. What am I good at?
3. What do I like to learn?
4. What do I absolutely hate doing? (so that you understand what you don't want to be when you grow up)
5. What is stopping me?

This exercise is a lot more meaningful when you actually write out your answers. After you answer these five questions, you must answer a final question:

Why am I stopping myself from being what I want to be when I grow up? 

Don't Wait Any Longer! 5 Strategies That Will Help You Accomplish Your Goals

Earlier this week I ran into a friend I haven't seen in a while. We told jokes, reminisced and joked some more. We then discussed our plans for the future. During the middle of our conversation my friend gives me a sheet of paper with his writing on it and it lists the following:

Lose 15 lbs.

Save up $ to buy a house

Go back to school

Learn how to play the piano

Learn Spanish

Give guitar lessons

Travel to Europe

"This is great!" I respond after looking at the list. "The first step to accomplishing your resolutions is to write them down!"

"Actually..." my friend says with a bit of disappointment, "this is a list I wrote back in 2009. I've kept it because every year I tell myself I'm going to finally accomplish those seven things. I've only accomplished a some of it. I lost 2lbs."

It's been a week since 2014 began. If you made goals for yourself, you probably really want to fulfill them. However, have you already pushed back your goals because you don't have the 'time'? Have you convinced yourself that it's better to start tomorrow? Or have you already convinced yourself that it's 'not that bad' if you don't meet those goals?

There are goals that I haven't met yet but there are many that I've accomplished. Here are some strategies that have helped me accomplish some of those goals and how they might help you as well:

1. Surround yourself around people that will motivate you. Most people feel as though the first thing they need to do when trying to meet certain goals is to schedule a day to start. However, I suggest taking a different approach. First, start with talking to someone who you know will pump you up so much that after talking to them you suddenly realized you signed up for a gym membership. Make it a priority to talk to that person who will lift you and will encourage you to reach your goals.You want your motivation to be higher than 100%. Don't surround yourself around negative people or someone who will just drag you down.

2. Take advantage of your momentum. Once you get into the groove of things, take advantage of it. Make the momentum worthwhile and last as long as you can. If you're learning how to play an instrument, don't stop now! Listen to more music, watch YouTube videos about your instrument, but keep going. 

3. Celebrate the small victories. Sometimes we think it's silly to celebrate when we lose one pound. Are you kidding? That calls for a party! Be proud of that pound because that is one pound closer to your goal! Things don't happen overnight so enjoy the ride and celebrate. However, if one of your goals is to lose wait, you might not want to celebrate with a Twinkie like I have done in the past. Celebrate in a way that won't disrupt your progress.

4. Find ways to stay motivated. After a few days, or weeks, temptation kicks in. You feel like you want to take a break or just stop for one day. The adrenaline has worn off and you start to convince yourself that 'at least you got that far.' Getting that far is not your goal. Meeting your goal is your goal. If your motivation is at 10% then find a way to get motivated! Go back to step one or find the one or two things that will get you self-motivated. Do those things immediately. If you wait too long, you lose momentum, you lose motivation and you lose sight of the goal you wanted to accomplish. 

5. Share your progress. As you continue to push yourself to reach your goal share it with someone. My recommendation is to share it with someone who either (a) cares or (b) will encourage you to keep going. Be careful of sharing it with someone who might respond with a "that's it?" or a "well, I already surpassed your goal." Even sharing it on Facebook or through your social networks might get you a few likes or words of encouragement that will help you keep going.

It's been a week since 2014 started. Let's start with step one. What's your motivation level? 10%? 20%? Who is motivating you?

2014 is the year of the NEW

I have no clue what I'm doing. I told myself I would begin writing blogs and I've spent the last three hours researching what a blog is. After signing up with three different blog sites, I landed here trying to write my first blog ever. I also stole a picture I liked from the internet that says "The Future - Next Exit". Am I even supposed to do that? I got in trouble when I was in 8th grade for plagiarism.

I'm the type of person that doesn't wait until the New Year's to do a list of resolutions. My list was created almost 5-10 years ago. However, as I discuss the many things I have done in the past (and what I plan to do in the future) people have been intrigued by my actions. I'm no superhero and I'm definitely not talented at many things but I always give things a try. This will probably be my worst blog ever because it's the first. Nothing comes naturally to me the first time. Or the second or third, for that matter. With experience and practice everyone gets better.

Think about the first time you tried to swim. You probably almost drowned, didn't you? Well, I did. What about the first time you drove a car? You probably hit a parked car, right? Wait, that was me. At least now I'm a decent swimmer that can doggy paddle for hours and I have some great parking skills.

To everyone reading this, first of all, thank you. I won't waste your time with my silliness. This 2014, make sure you plan to do something you've never done in your life. Maybe it's something you said you would do later. Maybe it's something your significant other has wanted you to try for some time. Maybe it's something you've secretly wanted to do but never had the courage to take action. This is the year to reinvent yourself - no excuses. This year will be Chapter 1 of your life. This is the year to take risks. This is the year to make plans. This is the year to take action. This is the year you will conquer your fears. Don't live your life thinking - "what if". Life is beautiful. Try to see how beautiful. Try life for the first time.