Trying To Get Someone To Change? Here are 5 Things to Consider

“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little change you have in trying to change others."” 

- Benjamin Franklin

I first started writing blogs in the beginning of this year with the intention to share my experience, expertise and knowledge with friends and family. Half-way through the year I decided to expand my horizons and had the opportunity to post my blogs on LinkedIn. For the last six months I have received great comments, kudos and encouragement. I have also received quite a few interesting questions and suggestions.

I took the time yesterday to go through many of the suggestions and questions people have sent me. Interestingly, about 80% of the questions or suggestions are about making someone change their ways: “Can you write about how to make your boss be more engaged?”; “How can I point out to my sister that she is spending too much money?”; “Do you have any advice on how I can make my wife listen to me?” I slightly changed the structure of the questions, but all of these questions are about making someone do something, change something or realize something. I decided to address these questions in today’s blog and provide three things anyone should consider when trying to make someone change.

Adults have years of bad habits

Most people have done things in a certain way for years. Perhaps, you have a co-worker that likes to procrastinate (and that has probably worked for him throughout his life). Or perhaps you have a sibling that has always been late – always. It’s unrealistic for you to try to change someone who has exercised certain habits throughout their lifetime and expect that you can magically turn that around in a heartbeat. By the time we become adults those habits (good or bad) are practically engraved in our DNA.

Can these habits eventually change? Absolutely, but it takes more than a few words of encouragement (or discouragement) from you to make it happen. You can’t expect things to change overnight, you can’t expect consistency, and you can’t expect immediate buy-in. From my experience, the more things you want to change about a person, the more problems you’ll have in your relationship.

Who likes to have their flaws pointed out?

Sometimes we think we’re doing a person a favor by telling them what they need to hear to make them better. This can work with some people, but not everyone is the same. Not everyone likes to hear that they’re lazy, that they need to be more responsible, that they are unorganized or that they don’t know how to be diplomatic. In fact, I can guarantee that most people know these things about themselves and you reiterating what they already know is probably not going to help.

Most people are quick to point out the flaws of others, but offer no assistance, no advice or no solutions. Additionally, it’s not what you say but how you say it that matters in many occasions. I’m sure many people would like to be less lazy, a bit more organized, or would like to know how to be more diplomatic, but how can they learn those things? Can they look up a video on Youtube on how to be less lazy? At work, this is a problem many managers have when giving feedback – they only point out the “areas for development” but don’t offer any assistance, solutions, advice or steps to development to improve those areas.

You can’t make someone change

I have finally learned that you can’t make someone change – you can only help. We get so caught up in wanting to change our employees, our co-workers, our significant other, or our children. You can’t change someone – you can only help, you can only provide support and you can only guide. Many of us want people to change but are not willing to commit, to put in the time to help others change. We get frustrated and impatient because the other person is not willing to cooperate and we give up. If you won’t invest in helping others, who will? Invest time, energy and love to help others. All you can do is help. They are the only ones that can make change happen.

Look in the mirror first

Many times we focus so much on trying to change others or trying to get others to see things our way that we never stop and look in the mirror instead. What habits do we need to change? What do we have to change about ourselves? Instead of asking, “why isn’t he listening to me?”, ask “am I listening to him?” Are you requiring patience from someone else but you are not patient yourself? Are you demanding understanding from your boss but have never tried to understand yourself? Are you taking proactive steps to change your ways? If the answer is ‘no,’ then what makes you think you can change the ways of someone else?

Be the example

Change yourself first, then help others change. You can’t make someone change unless you have gone through a transformation yourself. Change your ways first and have people take notice. This has been the only effective way I have made change in others possible. I try to hold my tongue, and demonstrate how change is possible. Every day, try to be a better version of yourself and others will eventually want to become a better version of themselves without you having to say a word, having to point out anything and (sometimes) even needing to help. Become an exemplary human being of positive change and healthy relationships. Let the obstacles and challenges test you because that is the only way you’ll know if you’ve really changed. Then, you can provide hope that change is possible in others.

Perhaps this wasn’t the type of article that you expected but my hope was to help you see things through another set of lens. Max Depree, the great American author on Leadership once said: “We cannot become what we want to be by remaining who we are.”

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.  

5 Things You Might Do Well At Work But Terribly At Home

“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life."” 
- Unknown

A few months ago I met with a friend who wanted me to help her with her finances. She felt she never had any money and she didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t asking me for money but she wanted me to go over her budget and see what things she needs to change.

After she asked me to help her, I paused for a bit and asked her a question.

“Wait a minute,” I said, “don’t you manage a multi-million budget at work?”

“Yeah, I know,” she responded, “I guess I never thought about my own budget.”

Many times we acquire great skills at work – skills we probably didn’t have before. We might have learned a bit more about finance, accounting, time management, organization, leadership, management, and teamwork or communication skills. The interesting thing is that time after time I meet someone or someone I know comes to me because they’re struggling with something personally that they might be doing well at work. Below are a few of these things many people do well at work but, for some reason, don’t do a good job at home.

Manage a Budget

As discussed in the introduction above, there are many people who manage a lot of money at work, but for some reason can’t or don’t manage their personal finances. Money management is a great skill to have and many of us have it. Use that skill to take control of your spending, your budget and your credit. Just like you spend an ample amount of time at work looking over numbers and making decisions, you should do the same at home. Make the time and effort because I can guarantee you that your money is more important to you.

Organize Yourself

I had a friend a few years ago who introduced me to his co-worker. His co-worker bragged about how organized my friend was. I was shocked. I didn’t say anything, but I knew my friend for at least 5 years and our circle of friends knew that he was awfully unorganized. My friend was messy, he never knew where he left papers and he was always late paying bills – and he was my roommate. Organization is another great skill to have. Transfer that skill to your personal life and, just like you do at work, you will become more productive.

Follow Up

As a program manager a few years ago, my goal was to acquire and retain new business for the company. Anyone that has ever worked on sales knows that following up is key to getting the sale. I did a great job at work, but a terrible job following up with friends and family. At work, I used to respond to our stakeholders in less than 24 hours. At home, I would receive a call, a voice message, a text message and you would be lucky if you heard from me. The people outside of work are very important to you, probably more important than the people you’re trying to sell to. Apply the same rules at home as you do at work. Be responsive at home, be accessible and just make sure you return phone calls.

Manage Your Time

Productivity is important at work. Many of us use an Outlook calendar to schedule our time at work and we try to stick to it as much as we can. We include meetings, tasks, projects and more meetings in our calendar. However, many of us don’t do the same with our personal life. We don’t schedule our life! Plan a date with your significant other, schedule the time when you’ll pay your bills, don’t forget your little cousin’s birthday party, and schedule some time to grow. You will accomplish more in life if you apply the same time management strategies you use at work.

Exercise Your Patience

I had a niece that used to work at a fast food chain. Anyone that has ever worked in fast food knows that you have to be very patient with the customers. My niece was always very polite, patient and professional when speaking to customers. At home though, my niece was the opposite. She hated waiting, she hated how her younger sister would nag and she couldn’t stand being at home. Patience is a great virtue. At work we become very patient with clients, co-workers and our boss. It shouldn’t be any different at home. Why does it all of a sudden change? Take the same measures and effort you apply at work to your home and you will be happier. There is no difference.

Are you a different person at work as you are at home? I always believed you should always exercise the great qualities you were given as a human being, no matter where you are. In fact, I think these qualities are much more needed at home than at work. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.  

Good or Bad? Which Inner Voice Are You Listening To?

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."” 

– Albert Einstein

Cartoons are fun. Although I am an adult now, I still enjoy watching cartoons and in case you are wondering the answer is no – I don’t have any kids. Many cartoons have an episode where the cartoon character (whether it’s Homer Simpson, Sylvester the Cat or Donald Duck) is split between doing the right thing or doing something evil. Typically, you’ll see a little devil and a little angel on the shoulders of the cartoon character.

We are no different than those cartoons. Many times we are caught in the middle, maybe not between good and evil, but between positive and negative thoughts. We go back and forth between what we should do and what we should say and many times we follow the wrong inner voice.

The Bad Inner Voice

The bad inner voice is unfortunately the voice we listen to the most. This is the inner voice that brings you doubt – “you can’t do it.” This is the inner voice that gives you discouragement – “give up.” This is the inner voice that makes you feel guilty that tells you that “this is your reality” and tries to give you reasons why things “won’t work.” This inner voice also convinces you that you are not good enough, smart enough, creative enough or passionate enough. The worst part of this inner voice is that it knows you well and it uses fear to its advantage. It convinces you that everything can and will go wrong. This inner voice is powerful and sometimes we let it get the best of us.

The Good Inner Voice

The good inner voice can be more powerful than the bad inner voice. However, sometimes we are quick to shut the door on this voice. This inner voice is encouraging – “just try it.” This inner voice can motivate you – “you can do it.” Many times, the good inner voice seems as though it’s just a daydream because it makes things seem possible that might seem impossible. The good inner voice believes in you, believes in your ability, your skill set and your intentions.

Unfortunately, we think many times that the inner voice is just a fantasy voice, a voice that paints unicorns and rainbows. So what do we do? We shut it down and listen to the voice that makes more sense to us – the bad inner voice. That’s the voice that keeps it real, right?

Remember, the good inner voice targets the heart and the bad inner voice targets the mind. You are better than you think, if not, that good inner voice would never be there. Follow your heart a little more. Which voice should you start listening to? 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.  

3 Lies You Tell Yourself Quite Often

“Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.” 

– Steve Jobs

Last week I finished facilitating a two-month training for a company in Southern California. I trained approximately 25 managers on topics such as leadership, management, communication and coaching. The managers embarked on a journey to become better managers to lead their teams to their full potential.

During our coaching session, we discussed ways to properly train, motivate and engage a team. During one of our discussions, one of the managers shared with me that he has trouble motivating people because he’s not a good motivator. In that same session, another manager said how difficult it was to train her employees because she has no patience.

These comments are very typical for managers to say and are comments we tell ourselves quite often. I responded to these comments from the managers with a simple question: ”who told you that?”

Many times we convince ourselves that we are a certain way or we can’t do a certain thing. We think other people believe these things about us and we unfortunately use other people’s comments to confirm what we already believed about ourselves. These are lies, though. Time and time again I see people breakthrough these lies. Below are three common lies that hold us back.

I am not good enough

Many times, managers (or people in general) make comments such as “I am not a good motivator,” “I am not a good public speaker,” or “I’m just not good with numbers.” People are just not born motivating others or knowing how to speak in public. These are skills that can be learned and applied with time. Instead of telling yourself lies, ask yourself these questions:  

• How can I become better
• What can I change about myself to become better?
• How can I change? Am I willing to change?

You are good enough. In fact, I can guarantee that you’re better than you think. There is a lot of untapped talent and potential if you just get passed those lies you invented.

I can’t do that

The word can’t is one of the worst words you can use in your vocabulary. “I can’t resist chocolate,” “I can’t find time to go to the gym,” and “I can’t make it on time because I live far,” are the most common lies you can tell yourself. These are our favorite excuses and the word can’t is supposed to make it seem as though there is an external force out of our control that won’t allow us to overcome these obstacles.

Instead of always relying on the word ‘can’t’, substitute that word for the question, “How can I…?” For example, “how can I lose 15 lbs?”, or “how can I make time to go to the gym.”

Force yourself to find solutions instead of making excuses. You can do anything and I can, once again, guarantee that you have overcome obstacles in the past that not too many people could. You are stronger than you think.

That’s just not me

By now, you have a pre-conceived notion of who you are and who you are not. You have convinced yourself that you are not patient, you are not a leader, you are not assertive or that you are not joyful. I believe we have all these qualities inside of us and many times we actually utilize these qualities. For example, have you ever waited an hour in LA traffic? That’s patience! Yes, some people are more patient than others, but many times we are the ones that choose what quality we do or don’t exercise. Therefore, any time that our job or our family requires our patience, for example, we tend to run away and choose not to exercise our patience.

You possess great qualities in a human. You have the power to think, act and become anything. You can be a strong leaders, a patient parent, a loving boss, a joyful employee, an assertive project leader and an empathetic colleague. You just choose not to focus on those qualities you need. You can become anything you want, but you must convince yourself first.

Sometimes are jobs or our personal lives force us to be something we’re not. Perhaps you weren’t so responsible before but your career forced you to be responsible. I can guarantee (my last guarantee) that who you are now is not the same person who you were 5 years ago, and it won’t be the same person who you will 5 years from now. Who do you want to be? Do you want to be extraordinary or a person who keeps believing your own lies?

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.  

How To Turn Your Cash Flow From Negative To Positive

"Discipline is doing what you know needs to be done, even though you don't want to."
- Unknown

Yesterday, I began to tell my story (Read How I Survived With $11 In My Pocket). Let me pick up where I left off...

So I finally got a job and things started to look a lot better. However, if you remember the story, I was still deep in debt, I received a lawsuit, shortly after a sheriff came to my office to let me know that my wages were going to be garnished, and I still had some bill collectors calling me consistently. 

It took me a few years to get out of this financial hole. This is not easy to do, but yet I was able to do it and I wanted to share the two main ways I was able to turn things around. At the time, I felt as though i was living paycheck to paycheck and most of my money went to paying bills, debt and other people with little or no money staying in my bank account. I had negative cash flow every single month for years. This is how I eventually got out. 

Sacrifice
I used to hate the word sacrifice. It pretty much means that you give up things that you like. Most people kind of want to change their situation, but they don't really want to do anything about it. Most people worry that they're in a financial hole but they don't want to give up anything to get out. I'm sorry to put it this way, but the most effective way to get out of a financial hole is by committing to sacrifices.

In order to prioritize my life and financial goals I gave up quite a few things that were not easy to give up. For five years I didn't own a television. This meant that I also didn't have cable. I had to be content with the car that I drove that was falling apart. I drove that car until (literally) the wheels fell off. For three years I didn't have a bed, just two mattresses on the floor. Beds are expensive and so are cars. If you add up the total amount you would spend on a TV and on monthly cable, it also begins to be expensive to have those luxuries. The phone I had was never new. In fact, I was trying to downgrade at one point but T-Mobile wouldn't let me. I bought clothes maybe once or twice a year and tried to take care of them so that they would last me for five more years. I also gave up going out so much so I can save a little on gas and dining out.

Discipline
As I mentioned before, none of this was easy. Most people feel that they need to reward themselves immediately after they receive a paycheck. Some people I know spend half of their paycheck the Friday they get paid. 

If you really think about it, I didn't have enough money left over (positive cash flow) to buy a new TV. Most people buy things with money they don't really have. I strategically put money aside every month for the bigger goals in life. For over four years I tracked my income and expenses on a spreadsheet (until I learned about mint.com three years ago.) Every month, I sat down for hours to look at where I needed to cut, what other sacrifices I needed to make and stuck to my plan. I also made sure that if I had money, I didn't spend it. the biggest discipline I attained was the ability not to spend money when I had it. I read tons of books and articles about managing expenses, investments, getting out of debt, how to save, how to develop better habits, how to become more disciplined, time management, all read to help me achieve my goals. I read (or listened to) a book every month. I read articles every single week. I forced myself to wake up earlier every morning although I convinced myself in college that I wasn't a morning person. I even gave up french fries for 9 months and eventually became vegetarian. People ask me why I became vegetarian and my simple answer is that I just wanted to see how long I could do it. It's now been five years. 

Throughout this experience, the money I made had nothing to do with me getting out of a hole (read Why How Much Money You Make Doesn't Matter). It was truly the discipline I developed and the sacrifices that I made that eventually helped me reach my goals. What was the end result? Now, I have a TV ( and I do have cable but I just bought it to watch the World Cup games - I'm about to cancel it) and a better car. However, I'm more proud of the fact that I have no loans, no credit cards, positive cash flow and I have been able to reward myself lately with trips to Hawaii, Cancun and Orlando. It also takes discipline to reward yourself at the end. 

Warren Buffet once said, "The most important thing to do if you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging." Can you stop digging?

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Interested In Improving Your Monthly Cash Flow? Follow These 5 Steps...

"Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving."

 - Warren Buffet

Yesterday, I wrote about the concept of Cash Flow (read Why How Much Money You Make Doesn't Matter). For those of you that might not have had the time to read my blog and are in the dark of what Cash Flow is, let me quickly explain it. Cash Flow is what you have left over when you calculate what you earn (i.e. your income) against what you spend. Your monthly Cash Flow might be positive or negative depending if you make more money than what you spend or you spend more money than what you make on  a monthly basis. 

If you think that I'm going to give the top five secrets on how to make more money or how to reduce your expenses, you are wrong. Realistically, yes, there are only two ways to increase your Cash Flow: Either you have more money coming in or you have less money coming out. Instead of going over how to make more money or how to spend less, I decided to go over something a lot more valuable. 

Before I continue, I definitely wanted to let you know that in no way do I currently have a crazy amount of positive monthly Cash Flow. Although my monthly Cash Flow is consistently positive, it's important to note that for many years my monthly Cash Flow was consistently in the red. I share this with you because I hope to encourage you a bit more. I hope that you feel as though your situation is not unique and that things can turn around just like they did for me. Below are five things I wanted to share about how I was able to turn my monthly Cash Flow from negative to positive.

Enjoy The Hard Work
People are always looking for a quick way to make money. They prefer to hear the stories of someone who won the lottery and became rich instantly instead of the true stories of those who have worked hard with their blood, tears and sweat to become wealthy over a course of many, many years. Most successful people that I know never got rich immediately. It was their hard work that paid off. They happily worked more than 60 hours a week to move up the ladder in their company. They worked tirelessly day and night because they opened up their own restaurant and they had no time to sleep. In fact, I met a guy at a conference once who said he's working hard because he doesn't like to work. His goal was to retire by age 35. Hard work will pay off. Enjoy the ride. 

Get Educated
If this is the only blog you read, then you're in trouble. Most people think of education as a plan to go to a university and get a degree. However, you can almost learn anything through books and now that we have YouTube, you can practically learn how to do anything on YouTube. Be proactive. Learn about controlling your expenses. Learn about how to accomplish your goals. Learn about investing, how to play the guitar, how to sing, whatever it is, but learn. A few years ago I decided to read a book every month. That type of education was relatively cheap and it helped me learn more about improving my Cash Flow. 

Give More
You're probably thinking, "Wait a minute...if I give more, how will I be able to keep more of my cash flow?." It's the law of life. I'm just not talking about money, but anything that you might have that you can share or give to others. Give your time to someone in need, or give more time to spend with your children. Give your heart to more people and you will see how it will open up doors you never knew existed. Even during times of struggle, I tried to give what I could to others. I had no money to give to anyone at the time, but I gave away my knowledge by volunteering to teach kids how to play mariachi music. I also tutored kids and got shrimp tacos in return. Eventually, everything worked out for the best. Give. 

Make Better Decisions
Most people would rather not think about money and convince themselves that money isn't important. They base their decision on this philosophy and they find themselves struggling consistently to make ends meet. A spontaneous trip to Vegas means nothing to them although they might have spent $800 on the trip that they are now trying to work hard to make up for. Eating out every day and spending almost $900 a month on fast food doesn't matter, right? Take responsibility. Start now. Put down your phone as you read this blog and start making changes immediately. 

Believe
Nothing is impossible in this life. Most people get discouraged because they 'don't make enough money.' Others decide that it's impossible to become as wealthy as the people they see on TV. Your mentality is half the battle. If you think the worse will happen, then it will. If you don't believe in yourself, then why should anyone believe in you? If you truly want to change your situation around, whether it's a financial struggle or something else, you must believe that it is possible. Don't defeat yourself before you try. You'll be surprised how strong you are inside and how believing can come a long way.

This article might not have been what you expected, but I felt I would be doing you a disservice if I continued to give you tips that you wouldn't put into action. Do you really want to change things around or is it just a nice thought? As I mentioned before, half of the battle is setting your mind to it. The other half is really just doing something about it. 

Was this blog helpful? Please share your comments. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Do I Need A Budget For Everything? Even If I Just Want To Buy A Pen?

"Don't spend more money than you've got. Don't spend money before you've got it."

 - Lillian Vernon

A few months ago I was meeting with one of my 'clients' to go over how they did against their budget for the previous month and to create a budget for the following month. As we were creating their budget for the month of June, I asked the question, "Are there any birthdays coming up in June that I should be aware of?" The couple looked at me with a question mark on their face. "If so," I continued, "then it needs to be in your budget." The couple said that they had three birthday parties that month so we added a budget for those birthday presents. 

"Wait a minute," the wife asked, "so we should also have a budget for Father's Day presents?" I nodded, of course. "Is there something we shouldn't budget for or do we have to put a price on everything?" the wife asked. The husband finally chimed in, and jokingly said, "Yeah, should I create a budget even if I just want to buy a pen?"

When I first began to create a budget for myself, I realized that I was actually pretty good with sticking to most of my budgets. However, time to time I did go over on something. After carefully analyzing my spending habits, I then realized my problem. My problem wasn't that I was overspending on certain areas I budgeted for, my problem was that I was spending on areas I never budgeted for. These items were not emergencies, if that's what you're thinking (we'll talk about emergencies at a later date). These were items I did not plan to buy, that I could have easily planned a budget for. Below is a list of some budgets you might want to create to help you better plan your budget.

Birthday Parties & Special Occasions
If you're like me and you have a big family, birthday parties happen every month (and depending on the month, they might happen every week). Set a budget for birthday presents, birthday parties you might be throwing for your kids, anniversaries, and for other Holidays that require you to spend: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day. Set a limit for yourself so that you don't overspend and then regret it. For example, for birthdays presents, you might set a limit to not spend more than $20 per present. After you set your budget for the month, try sticking with it.

Trips & Vacations
Before committing to a trip or a vacation, try to set a budget first. You should think about gas or other type of transportation (i.e. rental cars, plane tickets, etc.), the hotel stay, food, entertainment (i.e. theme parks, zoos, etc.) and the shopping you want to do. If you like to take souvenirs, don't forget to add that to the budget. Try to avoid the spontaneous trips to the casinos or Las Vegas. Instead, make plans and make a budget. 

Big Purchases
When I moved to my old apartment, the goal was to make it look sexy. However, it takes quite a bit of money to make it look sexy. There were also some things we needed for the apartment such as an iron, a vacuum and a blender. I could have bought all those three items during the first month of us moving in. However, I decided to time my budget. The first month, I set a budget to buy the iron. The second month, I bought the vacuum and the third month we purchased the blender. Afterwards, I began to set a monthly budget to add to the sexyness of the apartment. However, it took time to purchase these items and every month there was a budget allocated for those items we wanted to purchase.

Remember, the goal is not to break your head trying to budget for the cost of a pen. The goal is to plan a lot better. Plan those dates with your wife. Plan for those birthday parties. Plan to buy that laptop that you need. Plan, plan, plan...and set a budget as you go. 

Can you think of any other things you should set a budget for?

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

5 Ways To Create A Budget For Yourself - Anyone Can Do It!

"A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went."

 - Dave Ramsey

A  friend of mine was sharing with me how much he makes a year but was angry with a realization he had the other day. "Allen," he says, "I just found out that I make $45,000 a year, but that I only have $238.53 in my bank account. Why don't I have $45,000 in my pocket? Or at least half of that!"

When I was in college, I too had this realization. I told my roomate that I felt like I was just a middle-man for companies. I get paid only to hold that money for a few days before I give it to Verizon, the electric company, and other companies that I have to pay on a monthly basis. Although, I won't go over how to stop being a 'middle-man' during today's blog (or getting out of the Rat Race as Robert Kiyosaki would say), I do know that budgeting is the first step to taking control of your personal finances.

The following 5 steps will help you budget a bit better. 

1. Start by knowing how much money you make a month, on average
For some of us, our monthly income is the same every month, but this is not true for everyone. Start by putting down how much money you make a month and if it's not a number that is constant, then just use an average. 

2. Use basic categories to track your expenses
Before you start to jot down all the expenses you have on a monthly basis, first start off with the basics. Below is a list that I use when creating my basic categories:

• Auto & Transportation
• Bills & Utilities
• Education
• Entertainment
• Food & Dining
• Gifts & Donations
• Health & Fitness
• Home
• Personal Care
• Shopping
• Travel

3. Break down the basic categories into subcategories

The more detailed you are with your budget, the more you'll understand where your money goes and where you want to allocate your money. From the basic categories that you created, create subcategories to track each transaction. Here's an example of the subcategories that I use:

• Auto & Transportation
• Gas & Fuel
• Auto Insurance
• Car Wash
• Maintenance
• Bills & Utilities
• Electric Bill
• Phone Bill
• Water
• Internet
• Education
• Student Loans
• Books
• Entertainment
• Movie Theaters
• Music (Yes, I still pay for music)
• Concerts & Shows
• Food & Dining
• Fast Food
• Restaurants
• Groceries
• Gifts & Donations
• Presents
• Donations
• Health & Fitness
• Gym
• Doctor
• Dentist
• Sports Team
• Home
• Rent
• Decorations
• Home Improvements
• Personal Care
• Hair Cut
• Spa & Massages
• Shopping
• Clothes
• Desired purchases (tablet, laptop, etc.)
• Travel
• Timeshare
• Hotel
• Food for Travel

4. Look first at where your money went

Before you begin putting targeted amounts next to each category, first find out what your spending habits look like. Most bills and payments that we make are the same, for the most part, so those can stay constant. However, you do want to find out how much you are spending on clothes, a hair cut, fast food and other expenses that might change every month. You might want to look at the last three months and see how much you were spending on each category. Then, you should continue into the final step. 

5. Decide where you want your money to go

If you truly did this exercise, you might already have gotten depressed before you got to this final step. Most people realize later in life that they are spending more money than what they make. This is the main reason why you might feel that you're struggling to make ends meet every month or every week. This is the same reason why you feel like you never have money. You're probably spending more than what you're true means are. If this is the case (and even if it isn't), you want to place controls and decide how you want to spend your hard earned money. 

As I mentioned in my last blog, this will not happen overnight. Take the time and have the discipline to do this consistently for at least a year and you will start to see positive changes. It's not how much money we make but how much money we actually get to keep. 

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5 Easy Steps To Follow...For Those Struggling With Finances

"Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't need, to impress people they don't like."

 - Will Smith

Some people call me the accidental Financial Planner. Well, actually, no one calls me that but I thought it was a catchy name for my informal title. Since last November, I have gladly spent numerous hours helping people trying to get their finances together. My goal has always been to help people control their expenses so they can have enough money to not worry about money. (Don't worry - I won't be disclosing any names!)

Interestingly enough, I found myself giving the same tips to different people over and over again. These tips are essentially very basic and simple and will make a huge difference with the way you handle your money. If you properly follow these 5 steps, you will learn a lot about they way you handle your money, where your money actually goes and what changes you need to make to ensure financial health for yourself and  your family. 

1. Track Your Expenses
The first question I typically ask someone when I meet with them is, "what do you spend your money on?" The most common response I get from parents is: "on the kids." However, after fully reviewing all expenditures, it always turns out that perhaps less than 15% of the total expenses are spent on the kids. Other people can't remember or don't even know how much they spent on their phone bill or that they had a gym membership. It is important for everyone to track their expenses. There are many free tools out there that will actually do this for you. Most banks have online banking but a great tool for those that might have multiple accounts, and my favorite tool, is mint.com.

2. Use Less Cash
Cash is bad for a few reasons. One reason: if you have cash, you will spend it. If you don't have cash, you won't have something to spend. Another reason cash is bad: most people who heavily use cash to make transactions, payments or to buy things don't track their expenses. Many people have the habit of cashing their paychecks or going to the ATM frequently to take out cash. Unless you are writing down why you took out $100 on July 2nd of 2014, you will never know where your money went. Use your debit card to make transactions instead so that your transaction can be tracked and you can truly find out what you're spending your money on. 

3. Tag Your Expenses
Most people are lazy. They want a program or their online banking system to track perfectly what they spent when they went to Target. I have yet to find a system that will read your mind. It's impossible for a program to know that on August 2nd, you went to Target to buy groceries and that on August 8th you went to Target to buy clothes. Most people don't want to tag the expenses appropriately. Spend two to three days a week looking at your account and making the appropriate adjustments to your transactions. 

4. Review Your Expenses
Usually, after I meet with someone for the first time to go over their finances, the individual is excited about making changes to their financial habits. They leave with a mint.com account and with some financial knowledge about where their money went. However, when we meet a month later, I ask the question, "how many times did you look at your mint.com account?" The typical answer is one to three times. If you're only looking at your bank statements or checking your budget one to three times a month, you are doomed to repeat the same financial mistakes. It's of no value if you have online banking or a program that tracks for your expenses if you're never looking at your numbers. Try looking at the numbers at least once weekly, and then get in the habit of looking at them twice a week. I personally look at my mint.com account three times a week. 

5. Create a Budget
Most people are scared of the word "budget". When I told a certain individual that we needed to get her on a budget, her response was, "A budget? A budget will just tell me that I can't spend my money!" This is actually not true. A budget is a way for your to plan how you want to spend  your money. So, if you deemed it valuable to spend your money on video games every month, then you can definitely do that as long as you create a budget and a plan to execute that budget. I personally love going to the movies so I have a budget every month allotted to going to the movies. A budget really helps you decide where you want to put your money. 

Taking control of your finances will not happen over night. This will take time and discipline. Many of us were never taught about budgets, expenses and money. I hope to educate those that might be struggling taking control of their money. Am I an expert? Absolutely not. However, those of you that know me well, also know that at one point, I was also living pay check to pay check, getting deeper in debt, having collections calling me and a law suit from a credit card company. If you're in a hole - trust me - you can get out. Anything is possible. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

A Deeper Look Into Our Habits

"Successful people are simply those with successful habits."

 - Brian Tracy

Last week, I disclosed some results from a study that compared the habits of the rich and poor. I wanted to spend some time going over these results and giving everyone more insight into the numbers and what this all really means. 

"I maintain a daily to-do list" 
The rich have the tendency to have a set plan for the day and follow the plan as closely as possible. Many of us might have one or two things to do for the day, and we might get lucky if we accomplish one of those things. 67% of the rich complete at least 70% of their daily tasks. 

"I love reading"
Although 86% of the rich love to read, they don't like to read for pleasure. 88% of the rich read self-improvement books at least 30 minutes a day. The rich heavily focus on improving their skills, their business, their finances and their happiness. Only 2% of the rich read self-improvement books more than 30 minutes a day. 63% of the rich actually listen to audiobooks during their commute to work, whereas only 5% of the poor listen to audiobooks. The rich strategically use their time to improve, even if it's in the car. 

"I do more than my job requires"

A job is just a job - right? Well, the mental aspect of what we do many hours a week is crucial for our daily lifestyle. 86% of the rich work an average of 50 hours or more a week, compared to 43% of the poor who work as much. Yet, when surveyed, only 6% of the wealthy individuals found that they were unhappy because of work. 

"I focus on my goals every day"
Goals are one of the key differentiators between the rich and poor. Remember - a goal is not a wish. It is not something that you hope will happen but something that you need to make happen.  Interestingly enough, 67% of the rich put their goals in writing.  The wealthy set daily, monthly and annual goals. 

"I watch reality shows on TV"
Looking deeper into this comment, I found out that 67% of the rich spend one hour or less a day watching TV! No wonder they don't watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians. The rich don't watch TV because they're against it, they would just rather use their time doing something more productive and they don't think much about watching TV. Instead, they created a daily habit of reading. 

"I play the lottery regularly"
The rich decided not to play the lottery, not because they don't want to risk their money on the jackpot, but because they would rather not rely on luck. Besides, most people that win the lottery lose their money within a few years after hitting the jackpot. Instead, the rich spend their time building their knowledge and taking other risks with their businesses, purchasing businesses, taking over investments and managing risks. 

In the end, no matter what you want to do in life, many of what we succeed or fail to do will be determined by our daily habits. Where are you spending your time? With who? Are there any habits you need to get rid of or be more consistent with? Share your thoughts.

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way. 

Are Your Habits Making You Rich Or Poor?

"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into but hard to get out of"-Anonymous

What did I do last week? What did I accomplish? How did I spend my time? These are questions I ask myself at the end of every week. For the last few years, I made it a habit to always evaluate my days and weeks, never keeping my eyes off of my goals and dreams. However, not everyone asks these questions on a consistent basis.

A few months ago I wrote a blog called Do You Have What It Takes To Be Wealthy?, discussing a study done about successful people. The study carefully examined the habits of successful people and it compared them to the habits of the poor. Your daily habits will determine your success in life. Thomas Corley spent five years studying the lives of both rich people (defined as having an annual income of $160,000 or more and a liquid net worth of $3.2 million or more) and those of poor people (defined as having an annual income of $35,000 or less and a liquid net worth of $5,000 or less). Below are some of the results of Corley's study.

"I maintain a daily to-do list"

• Rich people who agree: 81%
• Poor people who agree: 19%

"I love reading"

• Rich people who agree: 86%
• Poor people who agree: 26%

"I do more than my job requires"

• Rich people who agree: 81%
• Poor people who agree: 17%

"I focus on my goals every day"

• Rich people who agree: 62%
• Poor people who agree: 6%

"I watch reality shows on TV"

• Rich people who agree: 6%
• Poor people who agree: 78%

"I play the lottery regularly"

• Rich people who agree: 6%
• Poor people who agree: 77%

Next week we'll go over these results in a lot more detail. It's important to study the habits that might be keeping us from achieving some of our goals. The purpose of this study is not to come up with ways to get rich, but to compare how rich and poor spend their time and energy. Becoming rich might not be your goal, or my goal, but achieving certain financial goals, dreams, or aspirations might. 

Ask yourself these questions from the study. Which comments do you agree with? 
Share. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

It's OK to ask for help...

During the recession of 2008 I was without a job. I couldn't pay rent and I didn't have much money in the bank. I felt like I was running out of options but I continued my life pretending that I can handle it all and that I would get out of this hole on my own. Eventually, I decided to swallow my pride as the burden was too heavy. I ended up staying for a few months with my sister and later with my brother. I slept on the couch for months until I got back on my feet. 

Do you feel comfortable asking others for help? It might be something embarrassing such as asking for money or asking to sleep on someone else's couch, but it could also be as simple as asking for a ride, advice or just asking someone to talk to you. We sometimes feel as though asking is a form of weakness, that it might expose our failures and our faults. We might also get caught up with thoughts such as, "what will they think or say about me" or "they'll probably tell me no, or give me crap for asking." 

The truth is, most successful people didn't get to where they are now without a little help, a little push, from someone else. In fact, if you ask me, I think asking for help is a sign of confidence and a strength to have. It not only eases the burden of trying to do it all, but it obviously speeds up the process or resolves the challenge. Swallow your pride. Get rid of the negative thoughts that asking for help is bad. Don't be afraid about what others will say.

Is there something you need help with? Have you thought about asking but you haven't gotten the courage to do it? What's stopping you?

"What would you d if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song and I'll try not to sing out of key. I get by with a little help from my friends."

- The Beatles

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

- Dr. Seuss

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.