Do You Feel Like Your Drowning? Everything Will Be OK...

"If it can't get any worse, give it one last shot. Wait until the wind blows in your favor."

- Enrique Bunbury from the song El Viento A Favor

When I was a teenager, my family and I went to the beach here in Southern California. The water seemed calm so my nephew and I went in the water walking and walking until the water was barely covering our belly buttons. The water wasn't too shallow that day because there were many people still in front of us, at least 30-40 feet further away. So, my nephew and I kept going deeper in the ocean. 

After only taking a few steps forward, my feet weren't touching the bottom of the ocean any more. I couldn't understand why if there were still so many people ahead of us, so I though I might have stepped on a spot that had a hole or something. The waves came and were pulling me more and more into a section where my feet couldn't touch the ground. I looked around and I saw people close to me where the water only went up to their chest. Why was this happening to me? I glanced at my nephew and although the water was up to his neck, he seemed super calm. 

The waves kept coming and kept taking me with them. This time, I was really struggling. The lifeguard got up from his seat and looked at me for a while. I wasn't sure whether to wave him down and ask for help or just wait until this passes by. The lifeguard probably thought I was playing around because no one else was in trouble. The time seemed to go on forever and I began to swallow the ocean's water. I kicked and kicked and nothing. I was too tired and the waves were too strong. I was so tired that now I couldn't wave my hand to ask for help so I was about to say goodbye to the world and drown. Finally, I decided to give it one last shot and out of nowhere I got this burst of energy to kick as fast as I could. I almost felt like an angel came to my rescue and put me in safe waters.

After kicking my life away, I was able to touch the bottom of the ocean and, without looking back, I walked out of the water and dropped my body to the sand. My nephew followed behind me. 

Out of breath, I said to my  nephew, "You're not going to believe what just happened to me!" I gasped for air to continue. "I was actually drowning this whole time...I couldn't touch the floor...I was drowning!"

I looked over at my  nephew and my nephew responded, "Really? Me too!" My nephew, also gasping for air explained how he went through the same experience I went through. He even said that when he looked at me, I looked so calm and the water was only up to my neck. We were both drowning together and we didn't even know it. 

Sometimes we might feel like we're drowning. We might be struggling with our marriage, at work, with our kids or with money and it seems like a never ending story. We think about how we got into a mess in the first place, regret our choices but still continue to struggle. Then, when it seems that things can get better, they actually get worse.


Many times, you might think others don't have troubles or issues, but they might be struggling in their own way too. It's never a bad time to lend a hand, or to reach out to someone to see how they're doing. Like the story of my funny near-death experience, you never know what others are going through unless you ask. 

No matter what you might be going through right now, whatever struggles keep you up at night, don't give up. Stay the course. Keep your hopes up. Pray. Ask for help. Whatever you do, don't call it quits. Everything will be OK in the end and you'll have a great story to tell. You don't get strength by having an easy life, you get stronger by persevering through life's challenges. Don't give up. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

How To Turn Your Cash Flow From Negative To Positive

"Discipline is doing what you know needs to be done, even though you don't want to."
- Unknown

Yesterday, I began to tell my story (Read How I Survived With $11 In My Pocket). Let me pick up where I left off...

So I finally got a job and things started to look a lot better. However, if you remember the story, I was still deep in debt, I received a lawsuit, shortly after a sheriff came to my office to let me know that my wages were going to be garnished, and I still had some bill collectors calling me consistently. 

It took me a few years to get out of this financial hole. This is not easy to do, but yet I was able to do it and I wanted to share the two main ways I was able to turn things around. At the time, I felt as though i was living paycheck to paycheck and most of my money went to paying bills, debt and other people with little or no money staying in my bank account. I had negative cash flow every single month for years. This is how I eventually got out. 

Sacrifice
I used to hate the word sacrifice. It pretty much means that you give up things that you like. Most people kind of want to change their situation, but they don't really want to do anything about it. Most people worry that they're in a financial hole but they don't want to give up anything to get out. I'm sorry to put it this way, but the most effective way to get out of a financial hole is by committing to sacrifices.

In order to prioritize my life and financial goals I gave up quite a few things that were not easy to give up. For five years I didn't own a television. This meant that I also didn't have cable. I had to be content with the car that I drove that was falling apart. I drove that car until (literally) the wheels fell off. For three years I didn't have a bed, just two mattresses on the floor. Beds are expensive and so are cars. If you add up the total amount you would spend on a TV and on monthly cable, it also begins to be expensive to have those luxuries. The phone I had was never new. In fact, I was trying to downgrade at one point but T-Mobile wouldn't let me. I bought clothes maybe once or twice a year and tried to take care of them so that they would last me for five more years. I also gave up going out so much so I can save a little on gas and dining out.

Discipline
As I mentioned before, none of this was easy. Most people feel that they need to reward themselves immediately after they receive a paycheck. Some people I know spend half of their paycheck the Friday they get paid. 

If you really think about it, I didn't have enough money left over (positive cash flow) to buy a new TV. Most people buy things with money they don't really have. I strategically put money aside every month for the bigger goals in life. For over four years I tracked my income and expenses on a spreadsheet (until I learned about mint.com three years ago.) Every month, I sat down for hours to look at where I needed to cut, what other sacrifices I needed to make and stuck to my plan. I also made sure that if I had money, I didn't spend it. the biggest discipline I attained was the ability not to spend money when I had it. I read tons of books and articles about managing expenses, investments, getting out of debt, how to save, how to develop better habits, how to become more disciplined, time management, all read to help me achieve my goals. I read (or listened to) a book every month. I read articles every single week. I forced myself to wake up earlier every morning although I convinced myself in college that I wasn't a morning person. I even gave up french fries for 9 months and eventually became vegetarian. People ask me why I became vegetarian and my simple answer is that I just wanted to see how long I could do it. It's now been five years. 

Throughout this experience, the money I made had nothing to do with me getting out of a hole (read Why How Much Money You Make Doesn't Matter). It was truly the discipline I developed and the sacrifices that I made that eventually helped me reach my goals. What was the end result? Now, I have a TV ( and I do have cable but I just bought it to watch the World Cup games - I'm about to cancel it) and a better car. However, I'm more proud of the fact that I have no loans, no credit cards, positive cash flow and I have been able to reward myself lately with trips to Hawaii, Cancun and Orlando. It also takes discipline to reward yourself at the end. 

Warren Buffet once said, "The most important thing to do if you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging." Can you stop digging?

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

What Would You Do If Everything Was Possible?

One of my favorite stories is a story I read in an article four months ago. The story was about a seven year old girl who was fascinated by the game 'catch.' She began playing catch with her dad, trying to count how many times they could catch the ball without dropping it. At one point they reached 50 catches and the girl and her dad were excited because they just beat their old record.

One day though, the focused little girl requested a game of catch in order to break their previous record of 50. The little girl wanted to get to 100! The dad chuckled a bit because he knew how much trouble it took them to get to 50. A few days later they reached their goal of 100. The next day the little girl said to her dad, "Dad let's go for 300 in a row!" The dad tried to convince his daughter that maybe they should try 125 or 150 because 300 was a stretch. Despite the push-back, the father agreed and a few days later 300 catches became their record. However, the daughter wanted to keep going. Challenging herself, she now wanted to go for 500. The dad said nothing this time but thought to himself, "You got to be kidding me!" Surely enough, after a few days, they reached 500 catches. The little girl didn't stop there.

"Dad," she said, "let's now go for 1,000 in a row!" The father at this point believed that this was impossible. Embarrassed to say anything to his believing daughter he unfaithfully agreed to try to get to that impossible goal. This time, in less than 24 hours, they reached 1,017 catches!

Earlier this week I wrote about fear and how fear prohibits us from reaching goals or trying things for the first time. Many times, we are the ones who limit ourselves and we are the ones who convince ourselves that things are impossible. What if you didn't set any limits? What if you stopped using the words 'I can't'? What if you truly believed that everything in this world was possible? Are you the one limiting yourself?

"Everything is impossible until somebody does it"

- Bruce Wayne (Batman) 

"Nothing is impossible. The word itself says 'I'm possible!"

- Audrey Hepburn

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way. 

What you can learn from the boy who wasn't smart...

His mother and father feared that something was wrong with their child. He was already three years old and still hasn't spoken a word. Years later, the fear resurfaced when their boy began to attend elementary school. The other kids thought he was weird because he didn't like sports and his teachers believed he was slower than the other students. By the time he got to high school one of his teachers told him that he would never amount to anything and that he should just drop out. Eventually, he did drop out of high school. Even the military didn't want him because he had 'flat feet.' It seemed as though this kid was just doomed. He was born to fail and everyone knew it.

Before I continue with the story, I think it's important to note that I probably already convinced you that this boy was not smart. Perhaps at some point even the boy was convinced that he was not smart. Why do we do that? We allow others to dictate what we are or what we aren't? We're quick to judge and we're quick to accept judgment.

Has anyone convinced you that you're not smart enough? That you're not good enough? Or that you just can't do it? If you allow yourself to be convinced by other people's opinions, then we accept the limits of others, not of ourselves. You have a choice to not listen.

However, the worst thing you can do is convince yourself that you can't do something or that you are a certain way. You might say to someone, "I'm just not a morning person" or "I'm just always late" or "I'm bad with math." When I used to teach guitar lessons years ago, the most common thing I would hear was, "I can't play the guitar, my fingers don't stretch that far." These are all lies. There is a way you can wake up earlier, you just need to get used to it. You can always leave your house 30 minutes before so you're not late. You can do math problems 30 minutes a day to get better. Finally, you can actually just try to stretch your fingers until your fingers get used to the guitar, with much needed practice.

It's easier to convince ourselves that we just can't do things. Or we can use that same mental power to convince ourselves that we can be better. We can convince ourselves that we can change and that we will change. Is it hard? Of course. Does it take time? Definitely. Is it worth it? More than you can imagine.

What things can you improve about yourself? What things need to improve? Is it really others that have convinced you or is it yourself?

Oh yes - back to the story! The boy eventually studied long and hard to take a few exams and eventually got into college. After college he struggled with finding a job because his teachers refused to write letters of recommendation for him. The story of his life continues. He finally got a job at as a patent clerk and continued his studies earning a doctorate from the University of Zurich. The boy who was once told he would never do anything in life became one of the smartest human beings that ever lived. His name was Albert Einstein.