Valuable Lessons From My Mom: You Are What You Eat And You Are Who You Hang Around With

"People you choose to associate with determine a lot of where you're going in life."

- Steve Harvey

When I was a kid, I used to refer to the other kids in my school as "friends." I would come home from school and tell my mom later in the day, "my friend Jesus got in trouble at recess today and my friend Lucy had to go to the doctor and my friend from another class came to our class to read with us today." My mom would then look at me and say, "not everyone is your friend, they are your classmates." I, of course, would respond back and argue on why everyone at school was my friend.

When I got to high school I got a job at a local Round Table Pizza working part-time a few days a week. I would come home from school and say to my mom that my friend Tim yelled at a customer that day and my friend Chuck decided to call-in sick so we were short-handed. My mom looked at me again and said, "not everyone is your friend, they are your co-workers." I thought my mom was just trying to start a fight!

As I got older I thought about some of the things my mom told me and many of the things she told me that I didn't agree with. Perhaps I'm becoming more mature now and things make a lot more sense. I'm sure that if I ask my mom now as I asked her then who my true friends were, she would probably count them with both hands, nothing more. She was able to tell who my friends really were when I was younger, even though I was the one thinking everyone was my friend.

Life passes us by quickly and people come and go in our lives. However, true friends stay. A friendship is not something to take for granted. The people around you have a lot more influence than you think. Yet, a friend will not harm you or put your life in danger. A friend will not hurt your feelings. A true friend will lend a hand without thinking about it. A friend will motivate you and believe in you even if you don't believe in yourself. A true friend will give you honest feedback for your own sake. A true friend will do the right thing. 

If you have some time to do some reflection this weekend, examine those around you. Are they motivating you? Are they helping you become a better person? Are you a better person because of them? Or are they negative and depressing? Are they telling you why you can't do something instead of how you can accomplish a goal? Do they believe in having goals or do they just like the fact that you guys can go drinking on weekends?

You've heard the term 'we are what we eat'. The same applies for those that surround us. If you hang around negative people, you'll become a negative person. If you hang around unmotivated people, then there will be no need for you to be motivated. If you find out that those people are holding you back, well, then I'll tell you what my mom told me, "not everyone is your friend."


Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Remember...You Can't Take Your Money With You When You Die

"You'll never see a U-Haul behind a hearse...I can't take it with me and neither can you. It's not how much you have but what you do with what you have."
 - Denzel Washington

Recently, I had a conversation with someone who reads my blogs. This person asked why I talked about money so much in my blogs. This person was under the impression that I was completely obsessed with money and he confirmed this when he told me, "Allen, you can't take your money with you when you die."

I completely agree with that statement. It is definitely true, you won't be able to take any wealth with you when you die. So why try, right? Perhaps it might be better for me to explain why I even write these blogs on money in the first place. Secondly, I want to explain why I truly feel that money is important. Finally, I want to explain what, I believe, you do take with you when you die.

Why do I write blogs on money?
I am not rich. I don't consider myself wealthy, either. However, I do consider myself blessed. God has given me the strength to learn quickly, apply what I learn, be brave, work hard, persevere, believe and achieve. Although I have not yet accomplished all of my goals in life, I have accomplished most of them. Although I am not financially independent yet, I have made great strives to get there. Over the last three years I have read books, watched videos, attended conferences and was mentored by others about money, finance, leadership, management, investments, etc. I have accumulated (and am still accumulating) an abundant amount of knowledge about many topics - money being one of them. I write blogs on money to share information and knowledge to those that might be struggling personally. I write about money because I know there are many people around me, people in my family, close friends that do struggle financially. I write about money to help people. I write about money to teach people how they can change their situation. I write about money to share my experiences with others. I write about money because I care about you. I don't want to live in a world where I achieve all my dreams and those that I love do not. 

Why is money important?
Unfortunately, we need money. We need money to provide for our family. We need money to pay rent, bills and our debt. We need money to attain the things that we really like. We need money almost every day. However, my philosophy on money is different. My intention is not to get rich. My intention is not to become the next top billionaire and buy a private jet. I believe money is important because it can lead to financial independence. If I am able to make proper investments, have a consistent positive cash flow and control my expenses, then I can achieve financial independence. To me, financial independence simply means that you do not have to depend on a paycheck or someone or something else to have money in your pocket. Instead of working for money, I would rather have money working for me. The only reason I want to achieve financial freedom is to have the ability to design my lifestyle. What would you do with your time, with your life, if you never had to worry about money? What would you do with your life if your investments took care of you? If I achieve financial independence by having enough passive income, I would spend my days helping people, spending time with my loved ones and trying to make a difference in the lives of others. I would wake up on Monday morning ready to go take care of my niece's kids so that she can take care of her errands. On Tuesday, I would go to an orphanage and spend time volunteering. You get the point. To me, money is a way to get to that ultimate goal.

What do we take with us when we die?
Nothing. Nothing tangible, that is. We can't take our money with us. We can't take our wedding rings with us. We can't take anything. Yet, we have been given life. Life is not a video game where we have 5 lives to live and then we can press the 'restart' button. Every minute is precious. Every moment counts. My goal is not to get rich. My goal is not to try to make a fortune so I can take it with me. My goal is to touch as many lives as possible while I'm alive. I can't take my pride, my glory, my accomplishments with me when I die either. I can, however, leave many things behind for others to have - from smiles, to money, to knowledge and assets. I'm not worried about what I'll be taking with me when I die. God will take care of that. I'm concerned with what I will leave behind. 

My intention was not to try to defend myself in this blog. My sole purpose for writing this piece was simply to give you an idea of what my true goals in life are. It's all embedded with a purpose. What is your purpose in life? Have you thought about it? Share. Comment. Have a great three day weekend. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Nick - The Man With No Arms, No Legs and No Limits

A good friend gave me a book for Christmas. The book was called Life Without Limits by Nick Vujicic, a man who has lived with no arms and no legs all of his life. The book was very inspiring and made me think constantly about myself. After finishing the book I looked for videos on Nick on YouTube and read a few more articles about him. After watching a few videos, I was impressed by how much Nick would smile.

Nick lived a rough life during his youth. He was teased frequently by other kids and called names such as "freak" or "alien." Nick grew up watching other kids play basketball, surf and go on dates with girls. At age 8 he contemplated committing suicide since he believed at that time that his life was already pre-determined: he couldn't do anything, he wouldn't get married and he would always need others to help him because of his disability.

However, Nick's attitude was impressive. He relied on God to remain positive and used his huge heart to get through some tough times. He learned how to swim, how to surf, how to use a computer and type, how to run a business and how to speak in public. Now, Nick goes throughout the world motivating other people and preaching how life can be lived without limits. He speaks to children about bullying and about loving themselves and each other.

Many times we are angry about the things that we don't have or the things that we do have that we don't like. We'll hate ourselves because we feel we're ugly or we're fat, we'll convince ourselves that we're not smart enough and we'll believe that we're not capable of achieving success. Yet, we forget the things in our lives that should matter. We forget that we have the blessings of our family, of our close friends, of the music we love, of the hands that allow us to hold our babies, of the lips we possess to kiss our mom on the cheek, of the dirty little car that has more than 200,000 miles but is still going, of the home that provides us a bed to rest, of the food we eat every single day and of the heart that allows us to forgive and love with no limits.

You are better than you think. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are smart. You can accomplish anything. The only limits you have are those you are setting for yourself.

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't - you are right."

- Henry Ford

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude towards what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you."

- Brian Tracy

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.