Your Emotional Bank Account - When Was The Last Time You Checked It?

"Relationships can be built only if you invest time in people"

- Katie Kacvinsky

Have you ever had that awkward moment in the car where you and your spouse might have had an argument of some sort but you're stuck together in the car for another 30 minutes? You try to somehow talk to the other person by making eye contact but you can't really make eye contact because you're the one driving so you try to think about what to say next. Then, you say what you think is the right thing but it's making matters worse! You think about pulling over to discuss what's going on, but you kind of just want to get to your destination so you keep driving hoping that the right words will come from above. Then, you hit traffic!

As I mentioned before, relationships take work - hard work (Read Want to Build Strong Relationships? Listen to Ben Affleck). Under the circumstances I described, it is important to gauge what is truly happening and how to handle these types of situations. One theory to really understand when working on relationships is the theory of the Emotional Bank Account. 

A few years ago I was introduced to an amazing book that made me self-reflect and change a few of my bad habits to develop new positive ones. The name of the book was The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. In the book, I learned many theories that I still use today, but one theory that stood out to me was the Emotional Bank Account. This is a crucial theory that can be applied to any type of relationship: your marriage, your employees, your friends. 

The concept is similar to a bank account you might have with Wells Fargo or any other bank. If you invest $200 every month towards your savings account, your investment will obviously grow. However, if you withdrawal $250 from that same account every month, you will end up in the negative. 

The Emotional Bank Account theory works in the same way. It's divided into two sections: the emotional deposits and emotional withdrawals. In any relationship, there is an Emotional Bank Account that you have with the other person. The more you contribute to the relationship with words, works, acts and love the stronger the relationship. This means that your Emotional Bank Account is getting pretty full. On the other hand, if you withdrawal too much from that Emotional Bank Account by asking for too many favors, being too demanding, contributing negativity, hate, jealousy, or anger then you might end up broke! This means that you might be feeling good about yourself in this relationship or at that moment, but the other person might be completely wiped out. This is when relationships really struggle. 

Take a moment to think about your relationships. Maybe start with your significant other or a close friend or your sister. Have you been depositing or investing into the Emotional Bank Account? How have you been contributing? Are you making more withdrawals or deposits?

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.