What Will Your Attitude Be Like Today?

"You can be happy or mad."

- My mother

There are many things I remember about my childhood. I remember trips we took, soccer games I played and things my mom did or said. For example, my mom loved her chancla (sandal). She not only used them to walk around the house but she would use it as a threat if you did something wrong. Her aim was so good she could hit anything from a mile away.

Besides her chancla, I remember my mother’s words. As a kid, I would pout about the advice my mom was giving me or the guidance she would provide. Whenever I was angry about something, my mom would say in Spanish, “puedes contentarte o enojarte – como tu quieras.” This translates to “you can be happy or mad, it’s up to you.”

We might not think of our attitude as a choice but it truly is. Attitude is a lever we have inside us that we can actually control. Anyone can tell what mood you’re in. They can tell by your body language, your choice of words and, more importantly, your face. Your attitude will control the rest of your body and mind, but you must control it first. John C. Maxwell said, “people may hear your words, but they can feel your attitude.”

The interesting thing about our attitude is that it’s contagious. If someone is having a bad day it can also get to us. However, if you bring joy to your office or your department it can also get to those around you. Attitude is something powerful. Think about the times you might have had someone at work or in your home nagging, complaining, bitter or depressed. Doesn’t it fill the atmosphere in the room or in that place?

You will decide what your attitude will be today. You have the power to control it. Will you shine in positivity, smiles and joy or will you drown others with your unpleasant attitude? Like my mother said, “it’s up to you.”

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Is The Glass Half-Empty or Half-Full? 3 Tips To Help You Become More Positive

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right!."

- Henry Ford

I took my first philosophy class in college when I was 18. One weekend, I thought I would enlighten my nieces and nephews, who were between 11 and 13 years old at the time, with some questions to ponder. I filled up a glass half-way and asked them the question: is the glass half-full or half-empty?

“Full?” One of my nieces asked.

“Actually, I think it’s more than half-way full,” one of my nephews comments.

I stopped them at once to try to explain what the question meant and how it reflected the point of view people might have on life. I thought I clarified things a bit more, but shortly after, one of my nieces asked, “…so did we get it right?”

It’s difficult to change the perception of adults. Adults have too many years of negative thoughts and bad habits under their belt that it makes it difficult to change their ways or become more positive. Yes, it’s difficult for someone to be 100% positive 100% of the time, but having a positive mind set will completely change your life.

Noticed that I said that it’s difficult, not impossible to change the perception of adults. There are ways to think more positively and below are just a few that have helped me personally.

Change your vocabulary

Have you noticed if you commonly use negative words like ‘can’t’, ‘impossible,’ or ‘no’? This is a habitual vocabulary that you developed over time that can be reversed. Below are some examples of how you can change the words you use. Make sure you make it a routine to change your vocabulary.

Negative comments	Positive comments
I can’t do that	How can I do that?
That’s impossible	How can I make it possible?
I’m not good enough	How can I get better?

Surround yourself with positive people

There are certain people that can be easily influenced by others. This could be a bad thing if the people influencing you are negative. Negativity and positivity is contagious. Surround yourself around people who will influence you in a good way and who believe in you. If you can’t think of anyone, it might be time to find a new crowd.

Focus on accomplishments

Most of the time we focus on what we could have done better or what we need to improve and completely forget the things we’ve done well. Start a log, a journal or a diary where you can write down your accomplishments for the week. (Read Can You Answer This OneSimple Question About Last Week?). I typically do this on Friday. On Fridays, I think back and try to come up with at least 3 accomplishments I had for the week. This routine has helped me in two ways: (1) I feel more accomplished and (2) I now think about what I want to accomplish for the following week.

There is no right way to become a positive thinker. All it takes is some effort and consistent habits to see a glass that is half-full.  

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Life Is Too Short? I Disagree

“Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.” 

– Chris Rock

When I was younger I never thought I would live to be passed my early thirties. I had a different mentality back then. Friends that I hung around with had the same mentality. I believed life was short because I could never picture myself being old. This idea that “life is short” makes people do one of two things: (1) they might go crazy trying to do everything and anything, thinking that they only have a few years to live or (2) they won’t do anything because life is too short and nothing matters.

Now that I’m currently living in my early thirties, I have a different perspective on life. I treasure each day as if it was a God-given present. Each day I wake up thankful for the new day and thankful for the day before. Yet, we don’t know what the future holds for us.

If you do the math, it actually turns out that life is very long. Today is October 28, meaning we already lived for 300 days in 2014. If you want to count the hours, we’ve lived 7,200 hours this year alone. As I think back at my old-self, having already lived thousands of days, I wonder why I never did the math. So far, I’ve lived more than 11,000 days.

Holistically, it’s really how you take each day of your life that matters. Some people might say that 11,000 days is a short period of time, for some reason. I personally think it’s enough time, plenty of time, to do marvelous things. I don’t know what’s in store for me tomorrow or years from now, but my goal is to make every day count.

Whether you think life is short or life is long, the question should really be: what are you doing each day you have been given? Are you doing something valuable or just letting the days pass you by?

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

3 Ways To Measure Your Success

"Success is a journey rather than a destination."

- John C. Maxwell

When I was in High School I played varsity soccer as a striker. During one of our tournament games our team fell apart making mistake after mistake and not working together to win the game. Some of my teammates yelled harshly at each other because they weren’t passing the ball and one of my teammates said he didn’t want to play with us anymore. Despite our issues, we ended up winning the game 3-2 and advanced to the semi-finals.

As I began to take ownership of my professional development a few years ago, my mindset changed about what it meant to be successful. Do you only achieve success through winning? What if you won a game but played terribly?

I stumbled upon a book about leadership in the bookstore on my way to Texas a few years ago and I fell in love with the author’s words. John C. Maxwell changed my perception about success, leadership and other aspects of life. I learned from him that success is not a destination, but more of a journey and there are three key factors that will define your success.

Success is…knowing your purpose in life

We were all created for a purpose in this life. Knowing your purpose is not only self-fulfilling but it’s the answer to ‘why are we here.’ According to Maxwell, there are four questions that will help you get closer to an answer:

• For what am I searching?
• Why was I created?
• Do I believe in my potential?
• When do I start?

Success is…growing to reach your maximum potential

If you agree with Maxwell that success is more of a journey instead of a destination, then you can see why growth is a huge part of success. Many times we might feel like we’re growing professionally but that there is no end result to get to. This is actually a good thing! When we stop learning, we stop growing. As Maxwell would say, “our potential is probably our greatest untapped resource.”

Success is…sowing seeds that benefit others

Success isn’t accidental and most successful people never became successful by themselves. Success typically comes with help from others. As Maxwell, plainly puts it, “It’s been said that we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” Don’t forget those that have helped you on your path to success and don’t hesitate to lend a hand to others in need.

Playing soccer in my younger years made me believe that winning was everything and only through victories would I be able to achieve success. Now, I have learned that success is not a trophy or a medal. Success is more than that. Enjoy the ride. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Know The First Step To Become Successful

"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than  your fear of failure."

- Bill Cosby

A few years ago I made a goal for myself. My goal was to make it a habit to read one book every month. Eventually, some of the books turned into audiobooks, but I still stayed true to my goal even to this day. In the early months of my goal, I read books about successful people and tried to figure out how they became successful so that I can follow their footsteps. Book after book, I learned about different successful people and their “secrets” to success.

As I read more and more books, I realized something I didn't realize early in my career. The books I read were great, but there was one huge problem I encountered. I felt as though I followed a certain trend after reading each book. Each book pumped me up to do something the book said I should do but I was going nowhere. Yes, the books helped me with my career but they didn't necessarily help me solve my huge problem.

The Definition of Success

What was my huge problem? I realized that I never defined the word success. I didn't know what success meant to me. Before I continued on my path to nowhere, I decided to sit down and think about what success really meant in my life. What was it that I was striving for?

People have a different definition of success. Some people believe money is everything and how much money they make defines their success. Other folks look for happiness. In fact, I've met a lot of people who have said that they define success as how happy they are. Many people might define success as living your ultimate lifestyle. In other words, you can pretty much do whatever the heck you want. I can go on and on about the different ways success is defined but my goal at the time was not to follow someone else’s definition. My goal was to come up with my own.

How Do You Define Success?

As I continued to read and discover what success meant to me, I realized that defining success was the first step to becoming successful. How would I become successful if I never knew what success was? I also realized that this whole time I was defining success the way a book defined it but never the way I wanted to define it.

If you've never thought about your own definition of success, maybe it’s time to start now. How would you define success? Is it providing for a family or achieving a dream? Is it more spiritual than tangible? It might take you days or even years to define it, but, as I discovered, it is a step closer to getting to your final destination. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Can You Answer This One Simple Question About Last Week?

"If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I'm about to do today?"

- Steve Jobs

I learned a lot of valuable lessons when I first became a manager. Books kept me motivated and informed and articles allowed me to adjust and learn. I used to lead team meetings on Mondays and prepared slides and agendas during weekends so that I can get the team ready for the week. I wanted to build a positive culture with the team and during our meeting so I began to implement a few things that I thought would assist with my objective. What was my great idea? It was one simple question.

I was shockingly stumped when I asked the group this one simple question and no one was able to answer me. For two Mondays in a row the group had difficulty answering my question and I realized that this was something most people have difficulty answering.

What was the simple question I asked? It was this question: What three things did you accomplish last week? That was it. I wanted to know three accomplishments from each individual. I wanted to create a culture where we discussed things that we’re proud. However, it seemed as though most people in our group didn't think much about their accomplishments and most of them couldn't even remember what they did the week before.

Every week we go through a busy schedule and time passes us by. We might be working ten hour days when all of a sudden the weekend arrives. Yet, we never stop to ask ourselves if the things we are doing are adding value to our lives. Are the things keeping us busy throughout the week, things that are getting us one step closer to accomplishing our goals or are they just things that keep us busy?

Can you answer my question: What three things did you accomplish last week? Can you come up with three things or can you only think of one? 

Eventually, I made this question a part of our meeting for the next few years and it created a culture of self-reflection and positivity. Sometimes, someone would say that they didn’t have any accomplishments but I would push them to think of something, anything, and eventually something came to mind. It’s crucial to develop a healthy habit of self-realization, especially when it comes to your success. Yes, there are many things you could have done better last week, but there are certain things you did well. Be proud of your accomplishments. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Ali Baba And Other Inspiring Stories That Sound Like Fairytales

"When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you."

- Jiminy Cricket from the movie Pinocchio

"...and they lived happily ever after." As a kid, it seemed like every story I read had a happy ending. In the end, the prince and the princess find each other and they lived happily ever after. It seemed like every story had the same ending.

You can say that we love the fairy tales because it helps us get away from reality and some of the struggles we might be going through. Even stories I would read in school about George Washington and Abraham Lincoln seemed like a fantasy. Martin Luther King Jr. sounded like a hero I could never be. However, as time flew by, new stories seemed to emerge with new characters and the stories seemed a bit more real.

Ali Baba
For a few weeks now, the company Ali Baba has created a huge buzz with its claim for the largest global IPO ever. The story though started many years ago with its founder, Jack Ma, who is now the richest man in China. According to Jack's testimony, before he created Ali Baba, he invited 24 friends to his house to discuss this "idea" he had about a business opportunity. Out of those 24 friends, 23 of them told Jack Ma how terrible his idea was and that it would never work. Later, even his family opposed the idea. Only one person encouraged Jack Ma to try it anyway. The rest, as we know it, is current history.

The Guy Who Only Works 4 Hours A Week And Does Everything He Wants
I must admit, I am a huge Tim Ferris fan. His book, The 4-Hour Workweek was one of the few book I actually read twice. Many people reading this blog have probably never heard of Tim Ferris and probably because he just sounds like a regular guy and he's not super famous and making tabloids. However, his story is fascinating. Tim Ferris went through the motions just like us, working ridiculous hours, trying to make money and do something with his life. With his outside-the-box thinking, Tim got to the point where he was able to travel around the world for months (not just on a one week vacation), learn how to tango in Argentina, compete in a world competition for mix martial arts and do all of this by only working a few hours a week. 

The Maverick
Mark Cuban is now known for many things, but mostly for winning an NBA championship as the Dallas Maverick's owner, but also for starring in the hit show Shark Tank. What most people don't know is that Mark's story before his fame. For many years, Mark lived with his buddies in an apartment where he had to sleep on the floor every night and lived off of sandwiches while he was trying to find success. His perseverance and hard work eventually paid off, but many of us just see the Mark on TV. There is more to this man than meets the eye.

I can go on with true stories that will drive inspiration but there is one common theme among all stories today. Each person decided what their ending would look like. Each one of these men fought hard and eventually found their "happily ever after." Even when the odds were stacked against these men and there was no support, they still kept going because they believe they can write the following chapters of their lives.

How are you focusing on your happy ending? Is your drive strong enough to make your own success or are you letting circumstances drag you down?

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Do You Feel Like Your Drowning? Everything Will Be OK...

"If it can't get any worse, give it one last shot. Wait until the wind blows in your favor."

- Enrique Bunbury from the song El Viento A Favor

When I was a teenager, my family and I went to the beach here in Southern California. The water seemed calm so my nephew and I went in the water walking and walking until the water was barely covering our belly buttons. The water wasn't too shallow that day because there were many people still in front of us, at least 30-40 feet further away. So, my nephew and I kept going deeper in the ocean. 

After only taking a few steps forward, my feet weren't touching the bottom of the ocean any more. I couldn't understand why if there were still so many people ahead of us, so I though I might have stepped on a spot that had a hole or something. The waves came and were pulling me more and more into a section where my feet couldn't touch the ground. I looked around and I saw people close to me where the water only went up to their chest. Why was this happening to me? I glanced at my nephew and although the water was up to his neck, he seemed super calm. 

The waves kept coming and kept taking me with them. This time, I was really struggling. The lifeguard got up from his seat and looked at me for a while. I wasn't sure whether to wave him down and ask for help or just wait until this passes by. The lifeguard probably thought I was playing around because no one else was in trouble. The time seemed to go on forever and I began to swallow the ocean's water. I kicked and kicked and nothing. I was too tired and the waves were too strong. I was so tired that now I couldn't wave my hand to ask for help so I was about to say goodbye to the world and drown. Finally, I decided to give it one last shot and out of nowhere I got this burst of energy to kick as fast as I could. I almost felt like an angel came to my rescue and put me in safe waters.

After kicking my life away, I was able to touch the bottom of the ocean and, without looking back, I walked out of the water and dropped my body to the sand. My nephew followed behind me. 

Out of breath, I said to my  nephew, "You're not going to believe what just happened to me!" I gasped for air to continue. "I was actually drowning this whole time...I couldn't touch the floor...I was drowning!"

I looked over at my  nephew and my nephew responded, "Really? Me too!" My nephew, also gasping for air explained how he went through the same experience I went through. He even said that when he looked at me, I looked so calm and the water was only up to my neck. We were both drowning together and we didn't even know it. 

Sometimes we might feel like we're drowning. We might be struggling with our marriage, at work, with our kids or with money and it seems like a never ending story. We think about how we got into a mess in the first place, regret our choices but still continue to struggle. Then, when it seems that things can get better, they actually get worse.


Many times, you might think others don't have troubles or issues, but they might be struggling in their own way too. It's never a bad time to lend a hand, or to reach out to someone to see how they're doing. Like the story of my funny near-death experience, you never know what others are going through unless you ask. 

No matter what you might be going through right now, whatever struggles keep you up at night, don't give up. Stay the course. Keep your hopes up. Pray. Ask for help. Whatever you do, don't call it quits. Everything will be OK in the end and you'll have a great story to tell. You don't get strength by having an easy life, you get stronger by persevering through life's challenges. Don't give up. 

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Take The Quiz Now - Know Your Primary Love Language

"The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love."

- Gary Chapman

The first time I read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, I thought I was going to go broke. After reading the book I began to realize that the love language of my girlfriend was receiving gifts. Many things went through my mind. I was getting scared because I'm not a person of giving gifts. For almost three years the only presents I gave were gift cards, board games that were on sale or soccer balls. I also became worried because I thought I would have to spend a lot of money on gifts for my girlfriend because I wanted her to feel loved the way she wanted to be loved.

I later began to ask my girlfriend some questions about the gifts I gave her. I bought her dresses, flowers, clothes and a lot of other nice things. However, I found out later that the best gifts were not the ones I bought. She loved a menu I wrote with my hands for a Valentine's dinner that I made for her. She also loved when made her breakfast in the morning and wrote a little love note to go with her sandwiches. I then discovered something: This whole time I assumed her love language was Receiving Gifts. I was wrong.

In a previous blog we discussed the importance of knowing your love language, but it is as equally important for you to know the love language of the person you love, or the people in your relationships (Read Are You And Your Significant Other Speaking Two Different Languages?). The love language theory doesn't only apply to intimate relationships or marriages. The theory applies to any relationship: the relationship you have with your daughter, the relationship you have with your boss or the relationship you have with your best friend. 

Lucky for you there is help! Below are two links, one so that you can take the quiz online to know your primary love language and the other link so that you can download the same quiz in a PDF form, depending on your preference. I suggest that you also encourage others to take the quiz and maybe have a discussion about this. You definitely want to be on the same page and know what love language you need to learn.

You don't want to assume your communicating in the other person's love language when you're really not. Don't do what I did. In case you wanted to know, my girlfriend's love language was actually Acts of Service. Enjoy the quiz!

The 5 Love Languages Quiz - Online

The 5 Love Languages Quiz - PDF

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.

Are You And Your Significant Other Speaking Two Different Languages?

"Love is a language spoken by everyone but understood only by the heart."

- Unknown

I was boarding a flight to Dallas a few years ago in Los Angeles. I put my stuff away and sat down ready to take flight. All of a sudden, a flight attendant asked a question on the PA: "does anyone know how to speak Portuguese? We need help translating."

Now, I've never taken any Portuguese classes but I have listened to a few songs in Portuguese and my girlfriend took a Portuguese class and would practice with me so I would do what anyone else would do in this situation - I raised my hand. The flight attendant flagged me down and took me to the Brazilian lady who was trying to explain something. I quickly said to the lady, "I speak a little Portuguese" (which were probably the only words I knew at the time). The lady spoke so fast too me that I started speaking to her in Spanish and then in English and then in a mix of what I thought was Portuguese and Spanish. Finally, I decided to use hand gestures and figured out somehow that she was concerned about her baggage being taken to the bottom of the plane because there was no room in any compartment.

I somehow 'made it' work that day, but it was evident that we were coming from two different worlds. Yesterday, I introduced the concept of The Five Love Languages, from a book written by Gary Chapman (Read The Five Love Languages - Which One Is Your Love Language?). You might have guessed which one could be your love language, but did you guess the love language of your significant other? If you concluded that you have a different love language than your boyfriend, or your mother or your best friend, then guess what - you too are speaking two completely different languages!

The most important thing about the love languages, is not so much understanding what your love language is, but more than anything learning the love languages of other people. For example, let's say the love language of your wife is Receiving Gifts. You can tell her how pretty she is every single day, tell her how much you love her every single minute and hug her and kiss her as much as you want but she will not feel loved. She might think what you're doing is nice but if her primary love language isn't Words of Affirmation or Physical Touch, you are speaking a foreign language to her. 

According to Mr. Chapman, most of the time, the biggest reason why couples have certain issues isn't due to financial issues or kids. The biggest issues that couples face is a huge difference in the way they communicate their love to each other. Many times, the way you like to receive love is also the way you like to show your love. Therefore, if your love language is Words of Affirmation, you like to give words to others to show your appreciation or your love. However, that might not be the love language of others and you might be missing out on showing how you truly feel simply because you never learned the other person's love language.

The five love languages is something you should truly examine. Like my experience at the airport, I just barely got through to the other person and I sort of understood what was going on. Are you just getting by in your relationships because you haven't taken the time to understand other people and their love language? True connections are built when you love others the way they want to be loved. Are you and your loved one speaking two different love languages? Feel free to share.

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.