"The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love."
- Gary Chapman
The first time I read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, I thought I was going to go broke. After reading the book I began to realize that the love language of my girlfriend was receiving gifts. Many things went through my mind. I was getting scared because I'm not a person of giving gifts. For almost three years the only presents I gave were gift cards, board games that were on sale or soccer balls. I also became worried because I thought I would have to spend a lot of money on gifts for my girlfriend because I wanted her to feel loved the way she wanted to be loved.
I later began to ask my girlfriend some questions about the gifts I gave her. I bought her dresses, flowers, clothes and a lot of other nice things. However, I found out later that the best gifts were not the ones I bought. She loved a menu I wrote with my hands for a Valentine's dinner that I made for her. She also loved when made her breakfast in the morning and wrote a little love note to go with her sandwiches. I then discovered something: This whole time I assumed her love language was Receiving Gifts. I was wrong.
In a previous blog we discussed the importance of knowing your love language, but it is as equally important for you to know the love language of the person you love, or the people in your relationships (Read Are You And Your Significant Other Speaking Two Different Languages?). The love language theory doesn't only apply to intimate relationships or marriages. The theory applies to any relationship: the relationship you have with your daughter, the relationship you have with your boss or the relationship you have with your best friend.
Lucky for you there is help! Below are two links, one so that you can take the quiz online to know your primary love language and the other link so that you can download the same quiz in a PDF form, depending on your preference. I suggest that you also encourage others to take the quiz and maybe have a discussion about this. You definitely want to be on the same page and know what love language you need to learn.
You don't want to assume your communicating in the other person's love language when you're really not. Don't do what I did. In case you wanted to know, my girlfriend's love language was actually Acts of Service. Enjoy the quiz!
The 5 Love Languages Quiz - Online
The 5 Love Languages Quiz - PDF
Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.
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