7 Exceptional Ways To Invest In Your Emotional Bank Account

"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."

- Dale Carnegie

They say a dog is a man's best friend. Even before you get out of the car, your dog knows it's you because he heard you pull up to the driveway. As you look for your keys you hear your dog barking with excitement because he's about to see his favorite person. As soon as you step into your home to greet your dog, your dog goes crazy for you. 

Why do we say that a dog is a man's best friend? I think it's because a dog submits to our wants, needs, emotions and desires. The dog is there to keep us company, get excited about seeing us and give us love and compassion when we need it. Most of the time the dog invests in our Emotional Bank Account without wanting anything in return. Do we do the same with our relationships? Are we really investing in our Emotional Bank Account or do we have way too many withdrawals? Here are seven ways you can invest in your Emotional Bank Account, most of them taken from Stephen Covey's book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (Read Your Emotional Bank Account - When Was The Last Time You Checked It?).

1. Seek First to Understand, Then To Be Understood
Stephen Covey dedicated an entire chapter solely on the skill of listening. Next time you want to express your opinion or give advice - don't. Instead, practice the habit of listening and understanding. Put your efforts more in the "understanding" part and less on the "what should I say next" part. 

2. Attend to the Little Things
It sounds like a cliche but the little things really do count. However, do you know what those little things are? Take some time to find out what are the little things in your relationships that make a big deal? Maybe it's just one-on-one time, a conversation over the phone or a smile.

3. Keep Commitments
Trust is key to any relationship. If you're telling your wife that you'll be home at 7pm but your consistently arriving at 8pm, you are breaking a trust barrier that is important to the relationship. Respect your relationships by being on time, keeping promises and holding yourself accountable to the other person. 

4. Clarify Expectations
Miscommunication is very common. You might have said one thing and the other person thought you said something different. Always strive for clarity even if you have to be repetitive. It's better to be safe than sorry because if you're sorry you have to make a withdrawal. 

5. Show Personal Integrity
Do the right thing. That's really what integrity is all about - doing the right thing. It's those little things you sacrifice that make up huge deposits. 

6. Apologize Sincerely When Making A Withdrawal
Pride means trouble. I have yet to be convinced that pride is a good thing, especially in relationships. If you're too proud to apologize or to forgive someone, your Emotional Bank Account is about to go bankrupt. Apologize with sincerity. 

7. Be Kind
Kindness is one of the easiest ways to invest in the Emotional Bank Account of your relationships. Instead of nagging about the dishes, do them yourself. Instead of always pointing out what the other person did wrong, tell her what she did right. Kindness is simple, yet we forget to use it sometimes.

We can learn a lot from our dogs - loyalty, care, true excitement. The most important thing I learned from a man's best friend is that there is no such thing as making too many deposits in any Emotional Bank Account. Let your relationships become rich!


Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.