Are You And Your Significant Other Speaking Two Different Languages?

"Love is a language spoken by everyone but understood only by the heart."

- Unknown

I was boarding a flight to Dallas a few years ago in Los Angeles. I put my stuff away and sat down ready to take flight. All of a sudden, a flight attendant asked a question on the PA: "does anyone know how to speak Portuguese? We need help translating."

Now, I've never taken any Portuguese classes but I have listened to a few songs in Portuguese and my girlfriend took a Portuguese class and would practice with me so I would do what anyone else would do in this situation - I raised my hand. The flight attendant flagged me down and took me to the Brazilian lady who was trying to explain something. I quickly said to the lady, "I speak a little Portuguese" (which were probably the only words I knew at the time). The lady spoke so fast too me that I started speaking to her in Spanish and then in English and then in a mix of what I thought was Portuguese and Spanish. Finally, I decided to use hand gestures and figured out somehow that she was concerned about her baggage being taken to the bottom of the plane because there was no room in any compartment.

I somehow 'made it' work that day, but it was evident that we were coming from two different worlds. Yesterday, I introduced the concept of The Five Love Languages, from a book written by Gary Chapman (Read The Five Love Languages - Which One Is Your Love Language?). You might have guessed which one could be your love language, but did you guess the love language of your significant other? If you concluded that you have a different love language than your boyfriend, or your mother or your best friend, then guess what - you too are speaking two completely different languages!

The most important thing about the love languages, is not so much understanding what your love language is, but more than anything learning the love languages of other people. For example, let's say the love language of your wife is Receiving Gifts. You can tell her how pretty she is every single day, tell her how much you love her every single minute and hug her and kiss her as much as you want but she will not feel loved. She might think what you're doing is nice but if her primary love language isn't Words of Affirmation or Physical Touch, you are speaking a foreign language to her. 

According to Mr. Chapman, most of the time, the biggest reason why couples have certain issues isn't due to financial issues or kids. The biggest issues that couples face is a huge difference in the way they communicate their love to each other. Many times, the way you like to receive love is also the way you like to show your love. Therefore, if your love language is Words of Affirmation, you like to give words to others to show your appreciation or your love. However, that might not be the love language of others and you might be missing out on showing how you truly feel simply because you never learned the other person's love language.

The five love languages is something you should truly examine. Like my experience at the airport, I just barely got through to the other person and I sort of understood what was going on. Are you just getting by in your relationships because you haven't taken the time to understand other people and their love language? True connections are built when you love others the way they want to be loved. Are you and your loved one speaking two different love languages? Feel free to share.

Don't forget to share this blog so you can encourage others: family, co-workers, friends. Give them something to get motivated! You never know what they might be going through. A few words of encouragement can go a long way.