Saturday, January 25, 2014

What you can learn from the boy who wasn't smart...


His mother and father feared that something was wrong with their child. He was already three years old and still hasn't spoken a word. Years later, the fear resurfaced when their boy began to attend elementary school. The other kids thought he was weird because he didn't like sports and his teachers believed he was slower than the other students. By the time he got to high school one of his teachers told him that he would never amount to anything and that he should just drop out. Eventually, he did drop out of high school. Even the military didn't want him because he had 'flat feet.' It seemed as though this kid was just doomed. He was born to fail and everyone knew it.

Before I continue with the story, I think it's important to note that I probably already convinced you that this boy was not smart. Perhaps at some point even the boy was convinced that he was not smart. Why do we do that? We allow others to dictate what we are or what we aren't? We're quick to judge and we're quick to accept judgment.

Has anyone convinced you that you're not smart enough? That you're not good enough? Or that you just can't do it? If you allow yourself to be convinced by other people's opinions, then we accept the limits of others, not of ourselves. You have a choice to not listen.

However, the worst thing you can do is convince yourself that you can't do something or that you are a certain way. You might say to someone, "I'm just not a morning person" or "I'm just always late" or "I'm bad with math." When I used to teach guitar lessons years ago, the most common thing I would hear was, "I can't play the guitar, my fingers don't stretch that far." These are all lies. There is a way you can wake up earlier, you just need to get used to it. You can always leave your house 30 minutes before so you're not late. You can do math problems 30 minutes a day to get better. Finally, you can actually just try to stretch your fingers until your fingers get used to the guitar, with much needed practice.

It's easier to convince ourselves that we just can't do things. Or we can use that same mental power to convince ourselves that we can be better. We can convince ourselves that we can change and that we will change. Is it hard? Of course. Does it take time? Definitely. Is it worth it? More than you can imagine.

What things can you improve about yourself? What things need to improve? Is it really others that have convinced you or is it yourself?

Oh yes - back to the story! The boy eventually studied long and hard to take a few exams and eventually got into college. After college he struggled with finding a job because his teachers refused to write letters of recommendation for him. The story of his life continues. He finally got a job at as a patent clerk and continued his studies earning a doctorate from the University of Zurich. The boy who was once told he would never do anything in life became one of the smartest human beings that ever lived. His name was Albert Einstein.

Friday, January 24, 2014

What do you want to be when you grow up?

"Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas"
- Paula Poundstone
I was at an elementary school earlier this week when I saw a teacher do an ice breaker with her students. She asked the class what they wanted to be when they grow up and you heard some of the most common professions: "cop", "doctor" and "teacher."

One of the students then raised her hand and asked, "teacher, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

As adults, we like to believe we have everything figured out. You might be starting a new job, studying to get your degree or just raising your children thinking that this is the way things are supposed to be. However, when was the last time you thought of what you wanted to be when you grow up?

You might not be growing in height, but you're always growing as a person. Experiences help us grow. School and books still help us learn. We're still growing. It doesn't matter if you're 20 or 40. There is still time for you to be what you want to be as a grown up. The best part is that you don't have to only be one thing. You can be many things! You can be an office manager in the mornings, a dedicated mother in the afternoons, a dancer on Friday nights and a volunteer at your church on Sundays. You probably already are many things but the questions you should ask yourself is: Is this who I want to be? Is this what I want to do?

If you haven't yet answered the question 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' maybe its time to do some brainstorming. Better now than never. Here are a few questions to ponder:

  1. What do I like to do?
  2. What am I good at?
  3. What do I like to learn?
  4. What do I absolutely hate doing? (so that you understand what you don't want to be when you grow up)
  5. What is stopping me?
This exercise is a lot more meaningful when you actually write out your answers. After you answer these five questions, you must answer a final question:

Why am I stopping myself from being what I want to be when I grow up? 

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Don't Wait Any Longer! 5 Strategies That Will Help You Accomplish Your Goals


Earlier this week I ran into a friend I haven't seen in a while. We told jokes, reminisced and joked some more. We then discussed our plans for the future. During the middle of our conversation my friend gives me a sheet of paper with his writing on it and it lists the following:


Lose 15 lbs.
Save up $ to buy a house
Go back to school
Learn how to play the piano
Learn Spanish
Give guitar lessons
Travel to Europe

"This is great!" I respond after looking at the list. "The first step to accomplishing your resolutions is to write them down!"

"Actually..." my friend says with a bit of disappointment, "this is a list I wrote back in 2009. I've kept it because every year I tell myself I'm going to finally accomplish those seven things. I've only accomplished a some of it. I lost 2lbs."

It's been a week since 2014 began. If you made goals for yourself, you probably really want to fulfill them. However, have you already pushed back your goals because you don't have the 'time'? Have you convinced yourself that it's better to start tomorrow? Or have you already convinced yourself that it's 'not that bad' if you don't meet those goals?

There are goals that I haven't met yet but there are many that I've accomplished. Here are some strategies that have helped me accomplish some of those goals and how they might help you as well:

1. Surround yourself around people that will motivate you. Most people feel as though the first thing they need to do when trying to meet certain goals is to schedule a day to start. However, I suggest taking a different approach. First, start with talking to someone who you know will pump you up so much that after talking to them you suddenly realized you signed up for a gym membership. Make it a priority to talk to that person who will lift you and will encourage you to reach your goals.You want your motivation to be higher than 100%. Don't surround yourself around negative people or someone who will just drag you down.

2. Take advantage of your momentum. Once you get into the groove of things, take advantage of it. Make the momentum worthwhile and last as long as you can. If you're learning how to play an instrument, don't stop now! Listen to more music, watch YouTube videos about your instrument, but keep going. 

3. Celebrate the small victories. Sometimes we think it's silly to celebrate when we lose one pound. Are you kidding? That calls for a party! Be proud of that pound because that is one pound closer to your goal! Things don't happen overnight so enjoy the ride and celebrate. However, if one of your goals is to lose wait, you might not want to celebrate with a Twinkie like I have done in the past. Celebrate in a way that won't disrupt your progress.

4. Find ways to stay motivated. After a few days, or weeks, temptation kicks in. You feel like you want to take a break or just stop for one day. The adrenaline has worn off and you start to convince yourself that 'at least you got that far.' Getting that far is not your goal. Meeting your goal is your goal. If your motivation is at 10% then find a way to get motivated! Go back to step one or find the one or two things that will get you self-motivated. Do those things immediately. If you wait too long, you lose momentum, you lose motivation and you lose sight of the goal you wanted to accomplish. 

5. Share your progress. As you continue to push yourself to reach your goal share it with someone. My recommendation is to share it with someone who either (a) cares or (b) will encourage you to keep going. Be careful of sharing it with someone who might respond with a "that's it?" or a "well, I already surpassed your goal." Even sharing it on Facebook or through your social networks might get you a few likes or words of encouragement that will help you keep going.

It's been a week since 2014 started. Let's start with step one. What's your motivation level? 10%? 20%? Who is motivating you?

Thursday, January 2, 2014

2014 is the year of the NEW



I have no clue what I'm doing. I told myself I would begin writing blogs and I've spent the last three hours researching what a blog is. After signing up with three different blog sites, I landed here trying to write my first blog ever. I also stole a picture I liked from the internet that says "The Future - Next Exit". Am I even supposed to do that? I got in trouble when I was in 8th grade for plagiarism.

I'm the type of person that doesn't wait until the New Year's to do a list of resolutions. My list was created almost 5-10 years ago. However, as I discuss the many things I have done in the past (and what I plan to do in the future) people have been intrigued by my actions. I'm no superhero and I'm definitely not talented at many things but I always give things a try. This will probably be my worst blog ever because it's the first. Nothing comes naturally to me the first time. Or the second or third, for that matter. With experience and practice everyone gets better.

Think about the first time you tried to swim. You probably almost drowned, didn't you? Well, I did. What about the first time you drove a car? You probably hit a parked car, right? Wait, that was me. At least now I'm a decent swimmer that can doggy paddle for hours and I have some great parking skills.

To everyone reading this, first of all, thank you. I won't waste your time with my silliness. This 2014, make sure you plan to do something you've never done in your life. Maybe it's something you said you would do later. Maybe it's something your significant other has wanted you to try for some time. Maybe it's something you've secretly wanted to do but never had the courage to take action. This is the year to reinvent yourself - no excuses. This year will be Chapter 1 of your life. This is the year to take risks. This is the year to make plans. This is the year to take action. This is the year you will conquer your fears. Don't live your life thinking - "what if". Life is beautiful. Try to see how beautiful. Try life for the first time.